This is the Australian Letter of the Year
This is an actual letter sent to the then DFAT (Foreign Affairs)
Minster, The Hon Alexander Downer and the then Immigration,
The Hon Minister Amanda Vanstone. The Government tried in
desperation to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal
person who read it nearly wet themselves laughing!
Please excuse the original language contained within, but I suspect the author
was somewhat upset? You decide!
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows
that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997,
and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and
on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the
income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports
I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've
had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years,
and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5
years since 1966.
Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and
I'd be absolutely feking astounded if that ever changed between now
and when I drop dead!!!.. SHIT!
I appologize Mr Minister But I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send
the application to my house, then you ask me for my feking address!!
What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless
Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!And another thing, look at
my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?
I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New
Zealand and see my new granddaughter.
(Yes, my son interbred with aKiwi girl). And would someone please
tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in
the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something
weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me,
I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
city, and get another feking copy of my birth certificate, and to part
with another $80 for the privilege of accessing
MY OWN INFORMATION!
Would it be so complicated to have all theservices in the same
spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day??
Nooooo.. that'd be too feking easy and make far too much sense.
You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our
feking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society winker
to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the
photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you rather morons
Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.
P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in
high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country
since before 1850!
In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor.
(You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)
I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and
still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt General
Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to
verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor;
WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FEKING PAKISTAN !!!....
a country wherethey either asassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from
the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'
You are all rather idiots
Author
Topic: austrailian letter of the year (Read 622 times)