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Author Topic: The wife......  (Read 1349 times)

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bob.dent

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The wife......
« on: 06 October 2009, 15:52:02 »

A  police officer pulls over a speeding car. 
 
The  officer says, ' I  clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The  driver says, 'Christ,  officer I had it on cruise control at 60,  perhaps your radar gun needs  calibrating.'

Not  looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be  silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have  cruise control.'

As  the officer writes out the ticket, the driver  looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you  please keep your mouth shut for  once?'

The wife smiles demurely and  says, ! 'You should  be thankful your radar detector went off when it  did.'

As  the officer makes out the second ticket for the  illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at  his wife and says through clenched teeth,  'F..k it, woman, can't you keep your mouth  shut?'

The  officer frowns and says, 'And I  notice that you're not wearing your seat belt,  sir. That's an automatic 75 pound  fine.'

The  driver says, 'Yeah,  well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it  off when you pulled me over so that I could get  my license out of my back  pocket.'

The  wife says, 'Now,  dear, you know very well that you didn't have  your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt  when you're driving.'

And  as the police officer is writing out the third  ticket the driver turns to his wife and  barks, 'WHY DON'T  You shut the f..k up??'

The  officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your  husband always talk to you this way,  Ma'am?'






I  love this part.... :


'Only  when he's pissed.'
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I HAVE THE BODY OF AN 18 YEAR OLD.......I KEEP IT IN THE FRIDGE!

tunnie

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #1 on: 06 October 2009, 15:54:10 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Gaffers

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #2 on: 06 October 2009, 16:00:19 »

Fantastic! ;D ;D  :y
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Elite Pete

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #3 on: 06 October 2009, 16:04:55 »

 ;D ;D :y
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #4 on: 06 October 2009, 17:17:52 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D quality  ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Stevie-blunder

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #5 on: 06 October 2009, 17:29:00 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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Richie London

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #6 on: 06 October 2009, 17:29:35 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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STMO999

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #7 on: 06 October 2009, 17:33:10 »

Old but good ;D
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waspy

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #8 on: 06 October 2009, 17:37:33 »

I love that part too

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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ali

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #9 on: 06 October 2009, 17:45:34 »

Brilliant  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D made me choke on my coffee :D :D :D :D :D
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albitz

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #10 on: 06 October 2009, 18:11:34 »

Reminds me a bit off the first time the cops came to question me about my misdemeanours when I was a teenager.I had my story all worked out and was reasonably confident of talking my way out of it.My mum answered the door when the copper came and immediately said to him " now he knows he,s done wrong and he,s very sorry,it wont happen again". ::) ;D
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Lizzie_Zoom

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #11 on: 06 October 2009, 18:22:46 »

Best for a long time! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y
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cem_devecioglu

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #12 on: 06 October 2009, 19:45:15 »

 ;D ;D

I must admit though if I was the husband this wife was in the last minute of her life.. ;D >:(
« Last Edit: 06 October 2009, 19:45:36 by cem_devecioglu »
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Vamps

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #13 on: 06 October 2009, 23:06:35 »

Nice one....... ;D ;D ;D
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jonnycool

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Re: The wife......
« Reply #14 on: 06 October 2009, 23:09:44 »

Excellent  :y :y :y :y
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