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[Nickbat]

"Here is some sound advice for anyone having an illicit love affair: if you do not want to be found out, do not arrange to sleep together on the night of March 27-28 2011."

"That is the night when the Government is going to count the British population, creating a precise, comprehensive record of who was sleeping where, how old they were, what ethnic background they came from, and what kind of central heating kept them warm that night."

"...anyone who does not fill in the form risks a £1,000 fine"

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/kiss-and-tell-the-2011-census-wants-to-know-your-sleeping-partner-1809428.html

Next thing, they'll be wanting your DNA. Oh, wait a minute.......
 

[Nickbat]

..and The Daily Mash's take on the story:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2166&Itemid=81

 

[Ghost]

What ever happened to the data protection? :-/

That has nothing to do with them if I am a D.I.Y pleasure monkey or not.

[Kevin Wood]

DIY pleasure monkey

PMSL. 

Kevin

[PhilRich]

'An old bicycle pump dipped in goosefat' ???

[KillerWatt]

The government can kiss my hairy f**king arse, it's none of their business who I shag, or when I shag them.

And yes, I am more than prepared for a jail spell if they don't like my answers when that date comes to pass.
In fact, I will make doubly sure I am at home when the census collector calls...and I will tell them the same to their face and make sure they write every word down so their is no confusion.

C**ts!!!

[zirax]

Am I the only one to think of implying there was an orgy and attach an extra sheet of paper with further DOB's and both sexes? 

[KillerWatt]

Am I the only one to think of implying there was an orgy and attach an extra sheet of paper with further DOB's and both sexes? 

That's one way to cause the taxpayers expenditure to go up, but I much prefer the truthful option (it's nobody's business but my own as to who is in my bed with me).

[Martin_1962]

I think I will have 27 bedrooms, 82 cars and 176 overnight visitors

[BigAl]

Am I the only one to think of implying there was an orgy and attach an extra sheet of paper with further DOB's and both sexes? 

I'm for putting down Brown & Mandelson & a couple of goats

[rob in gib]

I just wonder how many different languages the census will be printed in  :-/

[waspy]

Am I the only one to think of implying there was an orgy and attach an extra sheet of paper with further DOB's and both sexes? 

I'm for putting down Brown & Mandelson & a couple of goats

Wana borrow a gun