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Please play nicely.  No one wants to listen/read a keyboard warriors rants....

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Author Topic: Joke Time  (Read 568 times)

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Mr Skrunts

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Joke Time
« on: 31 December 2009, 15:40:56 »
Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are some resolutions that you can actually accomplish! Enjoy! :-)

10. Read less.

9. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.

8. Stop exercising
. Waste of time.

7. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

6. Procrastinate more.

5. Drink. Drink some more.

4. Start being superstitious.

3. Spend more time at work.

2. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

and last but not least...

1. Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #1 on: 31 December 2009, 15:42:38 »
Top Ten New Year Resolutions

   1. I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
   2. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
   3. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
   4. I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
   5. I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
   6. I will think of a password for my computer other than "password."
   7. I will try to figure out why I "really" need 11 e-mail addresses.
   8. I will go into McDonald's and order a McSpreader
   9. I will go into McDonald's and order a McSlurry
  10. I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
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Omegadoha, Desert Member

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #2 on: 31 December 2009, 17:18:44 »
Very good. Fist set I would struggle to do no.3  :y
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Welung666

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #3 on: 31 December 2009, 18:21:30 »
Quote
Very good. Fist set I would struggle to do no.3  :y

Me too  ::) Doing 6am till 6pm in my day job, home, back out to start my night job from 9pm to 3am! I don't think I could manage a third job ;D ;D
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STMO999

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #4 on: 31 December 2009, 18:45:44 »
Quote
Quote
Very good. Fist set I would struggle to do no.3  :y

Me too  ::) Doing 6am till 6pm in my day job, home, back out to start my night job from 9pm to 3am! I don't think I could manage a third job ;D ;D


Lazy bastard.
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