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Author Topic: Why do women...  (Read 2198 times)

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omegod

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Why do women...
« on: 01 March 2010, 15:52:15 »
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #1 on: 01 March 2010, 15:55:13 »
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)

BANK'S NEW CASH POINT MACHINES

Pleased to inform customers that the YorkshireBank are now installing the Next Generation of new "Drive-thru" cash point machines: Customers will in future be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to you (Male Or Female).

Please remember and follow these instructions when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6 Wind up window
7 Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car
3 Re-start the stalled engine
4 Wind down the window
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6 Turn the radio down 7 Attempt to insert card into machine
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9 Insert card
10 Re-insert card the right way up
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14 Enter amount of cash required
15 Check make-up in rear view mirror
16 Retrieve cash and receipt
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book
19 Re-check make-up again
20 Drive forwards 2 meters
21 Reverse back to cash machine
22 Retrieve card
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26 Release handbrake
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STMO999

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #2 on: 01 March 2010, 16:09:04 »
Quote
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)

BANK'S NEW CASH POINT MACHINES

Pleased to inform customers that the YorkshireBank are now installing the Next Generation of new "Drive-thru" cash point machines: Customers will in future be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to you (Male Or Female).

Please remember and follow these instructions when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6 Wind up window
7 Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car
3 Re-start the stalled engine
4 Wind down the window
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6 Turn the radio down 7 Attempt to insert card into machine
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9 Insert card
10 Re-insert card the right way up
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14 Enter amount of cash required
15 Check make-up in rear view mirror
16 Retrieve cash and receipt
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book
19 Re-check make-up again
20 Drive forwards 2 meters
21 Reverse back to cash machine
22 Retrieve card
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26 Release handbrake


 ;D ;D ;D ;D
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waspy

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #3 on: 01 March 2010, 16:09:09 »
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)

They should ;D
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cam2502

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #4 on: 01 March 2010, 16:13:36 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)

BANK'S NEW CASH POINT MACHINES

Pleased to inform customers that the YorkshireBank are now installing the Next Generation of new "Drive-thru" cash point machines: Customers will in future be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to you (Male Or Female).

Please remember and follow these instructions when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6 Wind up window
7 Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car
3 Re-start the stalled engine
4 Wind down the window
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6 Turn the radio down 7 Attempt to insert card into machine
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9 Insert card
10 Re-insert card the right way up
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14 Enter amount of cash required
15 Check make-up in rear view mirror
16 Retrieve cash and receipt
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book
19 Re-check make-up again
20 Drive forwards 2 meters
21 Reverse back to cash machine
22 Retrieve card
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26 Release handbrake


 ;D ;D ;D ;D
you must know my other half.....describes her to a tee! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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maria

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #5 on: 01 March 2010, 16:35:41 »
I'm like a man then , I put my card in and get money out and go and it takes me a few seconds, I cant stand ppl spending hours getting money out, it annoys me when you get some ppl get a mimi statement then and then put thier card back to get cash out ::)
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Amigo

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #6 on: 01 March 2010, 17:56:03 »
Quote
I'm like a man then , I put my card in and get money out and go and it takes me a few seconds, I cant stand ppl spending hours getting money out, it annoys me when you get some ppl get a mimi statement then and then put thier card back to get cash out ::)
You don't look like a man!! Think you might send TB's spell thingy into meltdown with your abbreviation of people! 8-)
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fletchesmrs

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #7 on: 01 March 2010, 18:08:48 »
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)



We are form another planet !! Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars  :y
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jereboam

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #8 on: 01 March 2010, 18:21:23 »
Car park machines!  How can they queue up to pay and still not have their money ready when they reach the machine. 

One of these days, I'm going to have to pay for an extra hour because of certain people grubbing about  in shopping bags to find handbags then grubbing about in handbags to find purses then grubbing about in purses to find money.  Now I am usually a very calm and very polite man, but on that day I may well explode. [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif]

« Last Edit: 01 March 2010, 18:22:12 by plstewart »
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rob in gib

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #9 on: 01 March 2010, 18:25:51 »
HANDBRAKE

my wife thought it was an air freshening  device 

because when she puts it down the smell of burning goes away ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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omegod

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #10 on: 01 March 2010, 18:32:06 »
Quote
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)



We are form another planet !! Women are like Venus fly traps, Men are from Mars :y

More like it ;D

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Hannah Judes Dad

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #11 on: 01 March 2010, 18:42:21 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)



We are form another planet !! Women are p3nis traps, Men are from Mars :y

More like it ;D

« Last Edit: 01 March 2010, 18:42:56 by hannahjudesdad »
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fletchesmrs

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #12 on: 01 March 2010, 20:16:56 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)



We are form another planet !! Women are p3nis traps, Men are from Mars :y

More like it

Not been on here for a few days as am fast losing heart in it (as well as my omega), found this  thread very funny, but whats the point of me posting a comment when it is changed ? !!! wont bother anymore :-X :-X
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Hannah Judes Dad

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #13 on: 01 March 2010, 20:50:47 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)



We are form another planet !! Women are p3nis traps, Men are from Mars :y

More like it

Not been on here for a few days as am fast losing heart in it (as well as my omega), found this  thread very funny, but whats the point of me posting a comment when it is changed ? !!! wont bother anymore :-X :-X

Sorry if you didn't like my play on words fletchesmrs :-[ :-* I'm not too far away from you for to slap me.
« Last Edit: 01 March 2010, 20:52:11 by hannahjudesdad »
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fletchesmrs

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Re: Why do women...
« Reply #14 on: 01 March 2010, 21:02:23 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
.... appear surprised that they have to pay for their shopping at the checkout in the supermarket, seriously watch them,they pack it all into bags , hawk it into their trollies then just stand there. The checkout girl says xx pounds and it's like the world stops or slows down for three seconds.............then the realisation hit's them like a thunderbolt  "Oohh I need to pay for this don't I"  Then the purse search starts OMG!!!!!!

And while I am at it what the hell do they do at cash machines that takes 5 times longer than men?
Is there a secret chat facility for the ladies?

Not an anti lady rant as I love them dearly but sometimes wonder if they live on a seperate planet ;)



We are form another planet !! Women are p3nis traps, Men are from Mars :y

More like it

Not been on here for a few days as am fast losing heart in it (as well as my omega), found this  thread very funny, but whats the point of me posting a comment when it is changed ? !!! wont bother anymore :-X :-X

Sorry if you didn't like my play on words fletchesmrs :-[ :-* I'm not too far away from you for to slap me.


Dont worry about it, i just got my head up my ar*e again, would come to Grimsby and slap your bottom but  you might like it  :D cant give you the plaesure cos Lady Olivia is off the road !! hence why im in a mood  :-*
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