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Author Topic: The European Language  (Read 1742 times)

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cmeonthemove

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The European Language
« on: 18 March 2010, 18:05:35 »

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards  kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling  kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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zirk

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #1 on: 18 March 2010, 18:17:32 »

Like it  :y :y :y
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Lizzie_Zoom

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #2 on: 18 March 2010, 18:20:02 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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zirk

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #3 on: 18 March 2010, 18:36:39 »

And whats the old German expression.

Ve hav vays of making you talk.
« Last Edit: 18 March 2010, 18:37:58 by zirk »
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Debs.

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #4 on: 18 March 2010, 19:26:22 »

Ja wohl ;)
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sexydaz

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #5 on: 18 March 2010, 20:34:59 »

ich gehe fur eine grose bier ins deine gasthof und  essen schnitzel und bockwurst

ist deine tochter sechszehn

mein kopf es tut weh

kann ich haben deine tochter

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PhilRich

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #6 on: 18 March 2010, 20:43:13 »

Mine Gott Adolf! Ve Haf Bein Rumpled :o
« Last Edit: 18 March 2010, 20:43:35 by philrich1064 »
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sexydaz

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #7 on: 18 March 2010, 21:02:07 »

Quote
Mine Gott Adolf! Ve Haf Bein Rumpled :o
herr philrich i vill rumpled yo ass muzza fuzza und herr andy kapp mit die lager int deine englische pint glassen
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PhilRich

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #8 on: 18 March 2010, 21:39:14 »

Quote
Quote
Mine Gott Adolf! Ve Haf Bein Rumpled :o
herr philrich i vill rumpled yo ass muzza fuzza und herr andy kapp mit die lager int deine englische pint glassen



Makenzie dat Zweisig lager int der grosse glassen unt zu ist on buddy :y ;D
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Sixstring

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #9 on: 19 March 2010, 10:19:48 »

Du bist alle grosse dumkopfen!!

Ich bin ein ENGLANDER meine herren, NICHT eine deutchen mann!!

I knew my secondary school german would eventually be of some use!!
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Re: The European Language
« Reply #10 on: 19 March 2010, 10:20:12 »

Quoi?!
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Debs.

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #11 on: 19 March 2010, 11:15:04 »

 ;) Wo ist das Bild des gefallenen Madonna mit dem großen Brüsten? ::)
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PhilRich

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #12 on: 19 March 2010, 14:08:53 »

Quote
;) Wo ist das Bild des gefallenen Madonna mit dem großen Brüsten? ::)


Ja! Und wo ist dem Bratwurst? :-?
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Ghost

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #13 on: 19 March 2010, 18:07:45 »

Eure Deutsch ist nicht schlecht meine herren, es ist nur ein wenig vekehrtrum, as man kann kein Englisch ins Deutsch direct uebersetzen.

Not bad guys and dont forget  Vir hav means und vays off maeking yo tork  [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif]
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MikeDundee

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Re: The European Language
« Reply #14 on: 19 March 2010, 18:09:48 »

Can you re-phrase that in scottish please - as me not understand ;D ;D
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