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[cem_devecioglu]

dumb question but how many years :-/

[redelitev6]

nearly 20

[Lizzie_Zoom]

It all depends on the causes of 'the problem'.

Can they be worked on and resolved with love returning?  Or has love and romance definately departed from the marriage, and it is time to call it all a day?

If love was once there, can it possibly be restored?

Only you and her can know the answers, and perhaps it is time for a very full adult discussion between the two of you!

[cem_devecioglu]

nearly 20

phew , very long time

you must have passed similiar crisis many times..

personally I dont believe things can be broken or repaired in a short time.. try cooling things and not to debate for some time.. :-/

[Lizzie_Zoom]

nearly 20

phew , very long time

you must have passed similiar crisis many times..

personally I dont believe things can be broken or repaired in a short time.. try cooling things and not to debate for some time.. :-/

Sorry Cem, but I disagree on that one.

From a woman's point of view if the husband shows no enthusiasm to sit down with you and find out what is wrong by why of face to face communication, then she may very well assume he does not care and the marriage is over.

Silence will aggravate the situation, building up frustration, anger and resentment, whereas a good discussion now could identify some very simple issues that are annoying one party or both which could easily be resolved.

Jaw jaw jaw, is far better than war, war, war, with the truth flying out of the window.

[sexydaz]

how longs it been goin on,any kids involved,do you want to save your marriage..its easy to let go and in the heat of the moment call it a day but if its worth saving fight for it,theres days when my wife is out of order and weve had some massive fallouts and i think sometimes if it wasnt for my kids we would not be together but then when shes calmed down and realised she was wrong(and yes im not perfect but yer dont know my wife)she wont apologise she just buys me a few little things and acts all nicey nicey its her way.
only you can tell if youve had enough and if you think she has maybe it is but dont give up too quick and see if it is worth saving

[redelitev6]

  4 kids all still at home ,so it would be a huge wrench to up sticks and go

[cem_devecioglu]

nearly 20

phew , very long time

you must have passed similiar crisis many times..

personally I dont believe things can be broken or repaired in a short time.. try cooling things and not to debate for some time.. :-/

Sorry Cem, but I disagree on that one.

From a woman's point of view if the husband shows no enthusiasm to sit down with you and find out what is wrong by why of face to face communication, then she may very well assume he does not care and the marriage is over.

Silence will aggravate the situation, building up frustration, anger and resentment, whereas a good discussion now could identify some very simple issues that are annoying one party or both which could easily be resolved.

Jaw jaw jaw, is far better than war, war, war, with the truth flying out of the window.

Lizzie, some preferences change from person to person and even for the same person changes from age to age.. In those kind of situations I personally try to give some freedom to the other side.. and deicde what she wants actually..  and try to listen myself what I want.. there is a saying "let her/him free , if she/he doesnt come back , she/he is never yours"

And I dont belive some se4rious problems can be solved with debate.. the person must gave up for something  self not for the reason you force.. I hope I could tell..

[Entwood]

This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...

[cem_devecioglu]

4 kids all still at home ,so it would be a huge wrench to up sticks and go

that will be a strong deciding factor..

[cem_devecioglu]

This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...

better idea..

[redelitev6]

This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...

sorry to put people on the spot,we seem to have a huge ammount of life"experience" on the forum ,just thought their must have been plenty of people through the same thing

[Martin_1962]

Middle age crisis?

Talk it over what ever you do

[sexydaz]

its very easy to get stuck in a rut where everydays the same and things blow out of all proportions,talking causes arguments..not talking solves nothing and the silences get longer and unbearable for the two of you and terrible for the kids,i hope you sort it out if its what you want but sometimes tbh if its over the hanging around and fighting is just dragging out the inevitable
all the best in whatever you do

[Gaffers]

As someone who has had to deal with a lot of workers with similar problems I would recommend a service such as Relate.  They do cost but they are a good professional service