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[Crazydad]

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54-years-old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him from his wife:

Dear Husband, You too are 54-years-old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love... don't wait up. Your Wife

[Nickbat]

A few pub Jokes?








A little boy was lost at in the supermarket. He went up to the security guard and said "I've lost my dad." The security guard asked him "What's he like?" and the little boy replied "Beer, and women with big boobs."

Darn it, that's me . Where's my boy? 

[jonnycool]

Dawn French is so upset about splitting up with Lenny Henry that she's gone on hunger strike. Doctors have given her 24 years to live 

[Nickbat]

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54-years-old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him from his wife:

Dear Husband, You too are 54-years-old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love... don't wait up. Your Wife

 

[Crazydad]

Did you hear about the man who poured beer over his lawn, hoping that the grass would come up half cut?

[Nickbat]

Dawn French is so upset about splitting up with Lenny Henry that she's gone on hunger strike. Doctors have given her 24 years to live 

 

[Crazydad]

Dawn French is so upset about splitting up with Lenny Henry that she's gone on hunger strike. Doctors have given her 24 years to live 

lmao

[unlucky alf]

A pregnant jamaican woman wakes up from a coma & asks where her lump has gone,
the doctor says "you had twins a boy & a girl, your brother has already named them for you",
the woman says "oh my god he is so thick i dread to think what he has called them,"
the doctor says "he called the little girl DENISE"
she says "oh thats nice i like that name but what did he call the boy?"
the doctor replies "DENEPHEW"  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (dont tell me,,,,im barred)

[BigAl]

Just made it before closing time - i'll have 2 pints on wife beater please!

[Nickbat]

I've just counted up and we've taken £23.78 + 2 Deutschemarks. 

Oi, Crazydad! Can you come up here for a second?I want a word with you. 

[Nickbat]

A pregnant jamaican woman wakes up from a coma & asks where her lump has gone,
the doctor says "you had twins a boy & a girl, your brother has already named them for you",
the woman says "oh my god he is so thick i dread to think what he has called them,"
the doctor says "he called the little girl DENISE"
she says "oh thats nice i like that name but what did he call the boy?"
the doctor replies "DENEPHEW"  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (dont tell me,,,,im barred)

Coat>> Door>> 

[Nickbat]

Just made it before closing time - i'll have 2 pints on wife beater please!

Coming up!   

It seems a bit slow in here now. Maybe TB's got router trouble again.  :-/

[Nickbat]

OK, I'm off to hit the sack now. You can stay as long as you like. Leave the key under the flowerpot.

Anyone can open up tomorrow. Just use the thread title Nag's Head: Thursday.

Goodnight all! 

[Vamps]

Looks like I missed last orders...
Looks like I missed a bit of good old OOF banter Will be at that 'Nags' next time..

[Banjax]

it's shut? damn these English opening hours  8-)

thats weird, someones left some tofu sandwiches in the beer garden....who eats tofu?