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[Del Boy]

Well, heard last week from a colleuge of the mrs that she was sleeping with another bloke, part of the reason I wasn't on much last week to be honest, anyway at work tonight thought I'd ring my son up and have a heart to heart with him about all of this. Rang him about I dunno 7 ish anyway, rang the mrs apparently she was doing her ironing, but she was acting as if she was in a rush to get off the phone. Rang my son as he was supposed to be out with his mates, he sounded very stressed out of breath and quite shock and I said to him are you at your mums because I can't get hold of her, he said yeah I'll call you back in a minute.

After trying to get through again 3 times but unable to get through drove home found my son outside and he said "dad it's him he's just left". Dumped the car on the curb ran in and it's all come out but she is saying oh I haven't slept with him, my sons and was pouring out with blood front door covered in blood, garage covered in blood all from things he punched, anyway turns out now he's 16 but even I wouldn't piss him off, he wanted the bloke to come outside and he wanted and I could see it in his eyes to kill the man.

Now I know who he is where he lives everything about him I know, things tomorrow are gonna happen big style, he will pay for this, so I've been up most of the night looking for him came in slept on sofa with son and his two mates and can't get asleep keep going over and over it in my head, I can't believe she's done this.

Tell me guys what should I do, I don't want to leave but I have too, I knew it was going on but having the 22 year old man over when my son could walk in is fuc*ing disgusting. The bloke as I said needs to pay but what would you do? I would give better details but I'm on my sons iPhone but I needed one or two friendly shoulders to cry upon.

[MikeDundee]

My opinion only, if she is at it then I would throw her out, and file for divorce, bashing the guy up won't solve anything other than making you feel better, then again I would probably bash him up too.

If you can't throw her out and you leave, still get a solicitor and serve divorce papers

It's not nice, but given the road she has went down you have now lost all trust, and now need to sort it out.

I don't envy you at all, given the position she has put you in, give her some payback

[Del Boy]

We're not married we've never seen the point. This is the 3rd time now I think I'm too kind. I don't know how she could do this, she said it's because she was unhappy, my son now he's 16 as I said he hit the nail bang on the head, if you're unhappy it doesn't mean you just start sleeping around. See what can I do I mean my son is stressed seriously stressed he's been up all night too, he even went round the blokes house last night. I don't want him in trouble far from it but he's intent on doom something whatever I've said he's disagreed with and thinks he should go round there, but on the same token if he wants to do it I'm going to be there with him.

[MikeDundee]

We're not married we've never seen the point. This is the 3rd time now I think I'm too kind. I don't know how she could do this, she said it's because she was unhappy, my son now he's 16 as I said he hit the nail bang on the head, if you're unhappy it doesn't mean you just start sleeping around. See what can I do I mean my son is stressed seriously stressed he's been up all night too, he even went round the blokes house last night. I don't want him in trouble far from it but he's intent on doom something whatever I've said he's disagreed with and thinks he should go round there, but on the same token if he wants to do it I'm going to be there with him.

Sounds like your son will do the bloke whether your there or not, he does risk getting nicked though. Still though I would throw her out or leave, 3 times is OTT, sounds like you have been too nice to her.

[tunnie]

sorry to hear this Del 

Whats deal with the house? If your renting then i would say leave, with your son, start new life 

If you own house, kick her out!

Beating hell out of the other guy will make you feel better in short term but and sorry if this comes across wrong, but its the Mrs to blame, not him, because she may have not told him the whole truth...

Just my thoughts

[cem_devecioglu]

sorry to hear ..

agreed with others..

kick her out of your life..she will always do this..

[Lizzie_Zoom]

Oh dear Del that is bad news!

I remember you had trouble before

Although you may feel like sorting this out as most men do, please think twice.  I agree with the other comments that she is the one who has let you down; the bloke has just done what many men do if given an opportunity, and you don't know what she has said.

Any violence could end up with you being arrested, and for what?!

Keep your cool, help your son to overcome the issue, and then take action on the legal front.  i.e. who's name is on the rent book or if you own your home, who's name is it in?

Take it all along those lines with a solicitor

[albitz]

Del, do everything you can to prevent your son going after the bloke. He,s an angry young man atm and could get himself in a lot of trouble. He could end up doing time for GBH or similar, and once that happens it will hang round his neck like a millstone for many years to come. It seriously affects all kinds of things from employment opportunities to travelling abroad etc.
If revenge must be taken it is best served cold (and calculated) not in the heat of the moment.
As for your Mrs.......complete waste of time imo, get rid asap.

[sexydaz]

sorry but if i was seeing a woman i would know she had someone else..the house alone would tell tale there would be a mans presence and belongings about and how do you hide a son who if came home would be like whos this guy,come on del 3 times..you must love this woman but it sounds like its all one way as for if it was me and i got caught i would accept a few slaps as any man knows seeing another blokes woman is wrong and its a risk they take but if you get caught you deserve a slap,if the shoe was on my foot and it was my wife (and this is not advice it is what i would do)i wouldnt be able to stop myself from goin round there and dishing out a few taps but like said it does no good but would make me feel better..all the best in whatever you do and it sounds like you need to move on from this heartless woman

[Plomien]

I agree with the others,
first time ok may get another chance second time I probably would have kicked her out (but easy to say)
3rd time sorry but time to go if house is rented in her name pack up with son and leave if in your name send her off with her 22 yr old to see if he can look after her....

[Dishevelled Den]

Del, in these circumstances a parting of the ways is the most sensible option for you both and although many would entreaty otherwise, dialogue must always come before action as parting on reasonable terms is preferable to ending things in a hostile way and suffering the lingering resentment that such action invariably creates.

Insofar as violence is concerned, I would suggest to both you and your son that this is misplaced and has the potential for this situation spiralling out of control.  I can see the inclination for a violent reaction to this being considered at the time, but violence used after the fact is liable to cause as much psychological harm to you both, the perceived victims of this matter.

A sensible parting will allow you to get on with your life without having the curse of resentment burning away as you try to move forward in the most constructive way possible.

I’m, very sorry to learn of your difficulties Del and hope that you can get things sorted out in the most realistic way you can.

[Mr Skrunts]

Sorry to hear of your troubles, you need to end this quickly and without any violence.  Others are right, sit her down and talk to her, you have nothing to lose at this point, then bring your son in and talk it out with him.  Take legal advice on board as early as possible.

One some strays there are signs, but sometimes can be worked out, straying a 2nd time then there are problems, a 3rd stray is time to start a new future.

Hope all works out for the best.

[Ploppy]

Del,

really sorry to hear that...

my advice and have been through this too...

Keep your cool....

Ask her to leave and get her to stay with a friend.

Its a horrible situation to be in, but in time it will only get better and you will find someone who wouldnt do that and you deserve...

Keep your chin up, be strong and have the upper hand.

The sooner she is out of your life , the better..

As the old saying goes,

as one door closes, another one opens ,
 

[Proz]

Been here in some shape or form too  :-/
Im afraid once was enough for me but third time ... no way
 
Easier said than done but you need to get away from this woman so you and your son can live happy lives without it being spoiled by her .

I wanted to kick the sh-- of of him too but i havn't yet and that was a few years ago ... you never know though what will happen one day .

Get away from her 

[Del Boy]

The thing is it's not just her she's ruined, it's everyone else around her, it's the most selfish thing I could ever think to do, I think I have to leave I've got my own place anyway so moving out is no issue, but I just can't trust her. That's the thing I just can't trust her.