Don't Say This To The Traffic Police
Thanks Officer! That's great. The last officer only gave me a warning as well!
Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
Sorry Officer, I was trying to keep up with the traffic, Yeah I know they are miles ahead of me, but that's how fast they got away from me!
No, I don't know how fast I was going. The needle stops at 180 mph
Wow! you must have been going some to catch me up?
Sorry officer, I didn't know you where behind me all that time, I was having to focus on what was in front of me because of the speed I was going
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Bad Car Advertising:
Summer Fun - The roof leaks in winter
Easy Project Car - Completely disassembled, bring many boxes
Minor Rust - Major rust you can’t see
New Paint - Beautifully covers the rust
Fully Loaded - The seller is too
Only 59,000 Miles - Actually closer to 259,000 miles
Rare Model - One of 300,000 made
Family Owned - Driven by 6 teenagers, 2 gran parents and the family dog
Fully Restored - There's nothing original
Must Sell - Before it blows up
Well Maintained - I occasionally change the oil
Rare Classic - No one wanted it even when it was new
Ran When Stored - It won't start now
No Time To Restore It - Can't get hold of the parts
Low Miles - The odometer was turned back
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Apparently From Real Insurance Claims:
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it
I collided with a stationery truck coming the other way
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car
The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident
As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished
I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found I had a fractured skull
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him
I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some cows
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Topic: A few car jokes!! (Read 422 times)