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[Del Boy]

Right I'm currently at my mums due to waiting for a decent enough house to become available, I've got a good strong amount to spend to get a nice house in a decent area without skinting my businesses, but as I'm at my mums at the minute my son is still at the ex mrs' house and they're having quite a lot of arguments due to what has gone on.

Anyway this is the bit that made me ask for you guys and girls advice. Yesterday me and my son was sat up eating some dinner, then who should walk past, the bloke she cheated on me with, "I said don't even look at him". He turned looked at me and my son who were sat in the BM and said something didn't quite catch it all but there was a f**k in there and something else he said too. My son then went ahead and said "Thats him!", now I was half way through eating a burger and wasn't ready for my son to just fly out of the car and get in pursuit of him.

I then got out of the car and quickly tried catching up with them, by which time they were already half way up a very long road so as I'd left the car unlocked key in the ignition and the door open etc, I ran back to the car to get it then raced down to catch them up. I then saw him with hold of my sons shirt, my son now has marks all over his neck too. My son has said he came across very angrily, but anyway I saw this and was obviously not very happy, got out of the car and said "what the blank do you think you're doing touching him" (and my son isn't a pussy either but this makes it sounds like he is) (He told me to put that in  ) anyway after I'd said that, I then stupidly  grabbed him round the throat shoved him against a fence and punched him in the mouth giving him a very bloody lip, then he tried to push me backwards which made me not very happy again so I went for another one but he ducked just before I could get my blow in, I then saw this fist out the corner of my eye come and catch him a treat right under the eye, of course it was my son, who didn't seem angry at all. Then I said to him come on lets go, and I then rang his mum and said to her we've got issues.

Anyway spoke to her and he walked past, didn't do anything to him there and won't do anything to him again  This is the serious bit now being honest, the mrs told my son last night that she had called it off with him, which cheered him up a bit. Today she gets in from work and says to him I never said that. Which to be honest I wouldn't say made him angry  but made him feel like shit to be honest.

I mean yes, shes done what she has done, but how can she still even be considering even talking to him after grabbing not only my son but hers too! I need to get hom out of there but I can't yet as there really is no room at my mums and I can't get hold of a house just yet. His mum keeps saying to my son though "oh if you didn't get out of the car none of this would've happened", but he made a hugely valid point by saying, "if he hadn't have said anything to me then I wouldn't have got out of the car anyway". For some reason though she really can't see that and I don't know as I said how she can even consider him after he did what he did. It does actually make me upset that she can be like this towards me but 100% more importantly our son 

Sorry for the essay by the way people.

[webby23]

Sorry to be so basic about it Del mate but if it were me I would use the money, buy a nice house as far away from her and her life as practical and try to move on.

She doesnt sound like she is worth fighting for buddy so no point ending up in trouble for doing so.

Your lad is old enough to make his own mind up regarding her so there is no need to stay friendly with her for his sake, it clearly isnt working

As for her dumping him, just shows what type of girl she is mate and you're best off out of it

Just my 2p.

 

[tunnie]

very difficult to say, he got what was coming to him though. Although on paper what you guys did was not right, i bet it cleared there air for you two, and its set the tone!

If she wants to be with him, not a lot you can really do, at least you both know what he is really like.

Just move on i think, get a nice pad for you and your son, and crank up the business side of things. 

[Mr Skrunts]

Right I'm currently at my mums due to waiting for a decent enough house to become available, I've got a good strong amount to spend to get a nice house in a decent area without skinting my businesses, but as I'm at my mums at the minute my son is still at the ex mrs' house and they're having quite a lot of arguments due to what has gone on.

Anyway this is the bit that made me ask for you guys and girls advice. Yesterday me and my son was sat up eating some dinner, then who should walk past, the bloke she cheated on me with, "I said don't even look at him". He turned looked at me and my son who were sat in the BM and said something didn't quite catch it all but there was a f**k in there and something else he said too. My son then went ahead and said "Thats him!", now I was half way through eating a burger and wasn't ready for my son to just fly out of the car and get in pursuit of him.

I then got out of the car and quickly tried catching up with them, by which time they were already half way up a very long road so as I'd left the car unlocked key in the ignition and the door open etc, I ran back to the car to get it then raced down to catch them up. I then saw him with hold of my sons shirt, my son now has marks all over his neck too. My son has said he came across very angrily, but anyway I saw this and was obviously not very happy, got out of the car and said "what the blank do you think you're doing touching him" (and my son isn't a pussy either but this makes it sounds like he is) (He told me to put that in  ) anyway after I'd said that, I then stupidly  grabbed him round the throat shoved him against a fence and punched him in the mouth giving him a very bloody lip, then he tried to push me backwards which made me not very happy again so I went for another one but he ducked just before I could get my blow in, I then saw this fist out the corner of my eye come and catch him a treat right under the eye, of course it was my son, who didn't seem angry at all. Then I said to him come on lets go, and I then rang his mum and said to her we've got issues.

Anyway spoke to her and he walked past, didn't do anything to him there and won't do anything to him again  This is the serious bit now being honest, the mrs told my son last night that she had called it off with him, which cheered him up a bit. Today she gets in from work and says to him I never said that. Which to be honest I wouldn't say made him angry  but made him feel like shit to be honest.

I mean yes, shes done what she has done, but how can she still even be considering even talking to him after grabbing not only my son but hers too! I need to get hom out of there but I can't yet as there really is no room at my mums and I can't get hold of a house just yet. She keeps saying to my son though "oh if you didn't get out of the car none of this would've happened", but he made a hugely valid point by saying, "if he hadn't have said anything to me then I wouldn't have got out of the car anyway". For some reason though she really can't see that and I don't know as I said how she can even consider him after he did what he did. It does actually make me upset that she can be like this towards me but 100% more importantly our son 

Sorry for the essay by the way people.

I think your Mum is right.

Some verbal verus fisicuffs.

Your Son may have got away with his point, but come on Del, this huy could have you for assault.

What happens if this guy presses charges if he reports you.

You have got to think about both your futures regardless off the affair or what the guy said to your son (That was not fully heard)

[Del Boy]

I think your Mum is right.

Some verbal verus fisicuffs.

Your Son may have got away with his point, but come on Del, this huy could have you for assault.

What happens if this guy presses charges if he reports you.

You have got to think about both your futures regardless off the affair or what the guy said to your son (That was not fully heard)

His mum said that not my mum  I'm not being funny though if someone grabbed hold of your son (being what's that word I'm looking for?) and gave him the marks he has on his neck/chest area would, or just even grabbing him would you not get out of the car then and do the same? So he assaulted my son first, and to be fair there was no need for him to even look nor say anything to us. I am going to say that of course, but I totally think what I'm saying is correct here to be honest  :-/

[Mr Skrunts]

I think your Mum is right.

Some verbal verus fisicuffs.

Your Son may have got away with his point, but come on Del, this huy could have you for assault.

What happens if this guy presses charges if he reports you.

You have got to think about both your futures regardless off the affair or what the guy said to your son (That was not fully heard)

His mum said that not my mum  I'm not being funny though if someone grabbed hold of your son (being what's that word I'm looking for?) and gave him the marks he has on his neck/chest area would, or just even grabbing him would you not get out of the car then and do the same? So he assaulted my son first, and to be fair there was no need for him to even look nor say anything to us. I am going to say that of course, but I totally think what I'm saying is correct here to be honest  :-/

Sorry Del, writing was a little misleading as you had been talking about your Mums house.

I need to get hom out of there but I can't yet as there really is no room at my mums and I can't get hold of a house just yet. She keeps saying to my son though "oh if you didn't get out of the car none of this would've happened", but he made a hugely valid point by saying, "if he hadn't have said anything to me then I wouldn't have got out of the car anyway"

[Del Boy]

I think your Mum is right.

Some verbal verus fisicuffs.

Your Son may have got away with his point, but come on Del, this huy could have you for assault.

What happens if this guy presses charges if he reports you.

You have got to think about both your futures regardless off the affair or what the guy said to your son (That was not fully heard)

His mum said that not my mum  I'm not being funny though if someone grabbed hold of your son (being what's that word I'm looking for?) and gave him the marks he has on his neck/chest area would, or just even grabbing him would you not get out of the car then and do the same? So he assaulted my son first, and to be fair there was no need for him to even look nor say anything to us. I am going to say that of course, but I totally think what I'm saying is correct here to be honest  :-/

Sorry Del, writing was a little misleading as you had been talking about your Mums house.

I need to get hom out of there but I can't yet as there really is no room at my mums and I can't get hold of a house just yet. She keeps saying to my son though "oh if you didn't get out of the car none of this would've happened", but he made a hugely valid point by saying, "if he hadn't have said anything to me then I wouldn't have got out of the car anyway"

Realised just now after I had re-read  Thanks for pointing it out mate 

[Gaffers]

very difficult to say, he got what was coming to him though. Although on paper what you guys did was not right, i bet it cleared there air for you two, and its set the tone!

If she wants to be with him, not a lot you can really do, at least you both know what he is really like.

Just move on i think, get a nice pad for you and your son, and crank up the business side of things. 

Seconded, even though he deserved it and despite the marks on your son's neck it sounds like you went beyond reasonable force which is all you are allowed to use to defend yourself or someone else. 

His mum needs her head checking 

I bet your son feels good about smacking him though   8-)

[Radar]

What about renting a suitably sized flat/house and continue the hunt for a house to buy? That way you can live with your son now. Even if you were to find the ideal house tomorrow it would still take at least a couple of months before you could move in, during which time gods knows what else could happen?

The cost of renting short term is not ideal but if as you say you have some tucked away, rental cost wo't eat too much into it.

Just my two pennies worth!

[Del Boy]

What about renting a suitably sized flat/house and continue the hunt for a house to buy? That way you can live with your son now. Even if you were to find the ideal house tomorrow it would still take at least a couple of months before you could move in, during which time gods knows what else could happen?

The cost of renting short term is not ideal but if as you say you have some tucked away, rental cost wo't eat too much into it.

Just my two pennies worth!

I was thinking that and said that to my son to see what he thpught of it, but he said he's happy to stay there until we get a place. They're both ok with each other but when one says something the other doesn't like they then thrive off the anger they both get with each other. He would stay there and I don't have a problem with that if it's what he wants, but as he said to me he can't stick the arguing all the time. Despite all of this I do feel sorry for her really I do, but the way she is being with our son really does digust me and I never thought I'd see the day she put a man before him 

[Richie London]

i think you both acted in accordance with the situation in hand, a fathers protection of his kids is far greater than the prtoection of himself. but for a woman to take the side of her lover rather than her own son is unaceptable in my opinion. as others have said just sort the both of you out as quick as you can and let your son decide what he feels himself towards his mum. same as when my parents split 8 years ago, i wouldnt take sides.

[Richie London]

can this bloke be trusted to be in the same house as your son now this has happened, could he turn on him after a few drinks cause of whats happened?? is be very cautious to be honest

[Del Boy]

can this bloke be trusted to be in the same house as your son now this has happened, could he turn on him after a few drinks cause of whats happened?? is be very cautious to be honest

Exactly mate, exactly 

I only hope the police don't get involved, it was on quite a busy road and loads of people were stopped and tooting, I mean I was only looking after my son, but it's not the point  :-/

[Radar]

What about renting a suitably sized flat/house and continue the hunt for a house to buy? That way you can live with your son now. Even if you were to find the ideal house tomorrow it would still take at least a couple of months before you could move in, during which time gods knows what else could happen?

The cost of renting short term is not ideal but if as you say you have some tucked away, rental cost wo't eat too much into it.

Just my two pennies worth!

I was thinking that and said that to my son to see what he thpught of it, but he said he's happy to stay there until we get a place. They're both ok with each other but when one says something the other doesn't like they then thrive off the anger they both get with each other. He would stay there and I don't have a problem with that if it's what he wants, but as he said to me he can't stick the arguing all the time. Despite all of this I do feel sorry for her really I do, but the way she is being with our son really does digust me and I never thought I'd see the day she put a man before him 

[/highlight]

I feel that is justification for your son moving out as it shows there is an underlying tension in the atmosphere. Furthermore if you're saying his mum is not prioritising you're son then it makes more of a case for him to move in with you now. I wish you well.

[Amigo]

I was a single Dad for a few of my son's younger years (he's 25 this year) Right or wrong i'd have done the same as you mate, no question. Some may call it a primative response....yes it is. It's a protective instinct & you reacted accordingly. I doubt in this case there will be any legal implications, no REAL injuries to either party just a "scuffle".

   As said, move on, move away & concentrate on your livelihood & your son. Seems you're both better off without those two. Guy.