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Author Topic: The SAS the Paras and Plod  (Read 2710 times)

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jyr001

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The SAS the Paras and Plod
« on: 17 September 2010, 16:05:45 »

The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top.
After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their
next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit for their supper, returning with it ready to skin and cook.
Night falls.
First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the
ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes.
"Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, smear
themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge,
carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc.
After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!".
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day.
The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut. "Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.
The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:
"Alright, alright, I'm a f*ckin' rabbit!"
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alfie

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #1 on: 17 September 2010, 16:09:52 »

So true.
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Lizzie_Zoom

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #2 on: 17 September 2010, 16:48:54 »

Sorry, I do not want to appear too serious about "the joke", but I am concerned you could be suggesting the police beat the **** out of a suspect to get a confession.

Maybe before PACE that, just maybe, did happen but not now! ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

A joke is a joke, but when it suggests what that does about the police then, I think, that is wrong.  Just my opinion though! ::) ::) ;) 
« Last Edit: 17 September 2010, 16:49:18 by Lizzie_Zoom »
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #3 on: 17 September 2010, 17:04:11 »

Quote
So true.


Can you fill me in with a bit more detail there Alfie?
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Lizzie_Zoom

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #4 on: 17 September 2010, 17:08:57 »

Quote
Quote
So true.


Can you fill me in with a bit more detail there Alfie?

Yes Zulu I am interested to know that ;) ;)
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Bent valve

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #5 on: 17 September 2010, 17:42:41 »

The filth never could take a joke ::)
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #6 on: 17 September 2010, 17:46:55 »

Quote
The filth never could take a joke ::)

Was that one aimed at me BV?
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Bent valve

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #7 on: 17 September 2010, 17:49:59 »

Quote
Quote
The filth never could take a joke ::)

Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #8 on: 17 September 2010, 17:51:50 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
The filth never could take a joke ::)

Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?

I frequently do in certain cases BV.
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Bent valve

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #9 on: 17 September 2010, 17:56:39 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
The filth never could take a joke ::)

Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?

I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
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jyr001

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #10 on: 17 September 2010, 17:58:30 »

It's interesting to note that you seem agrieved about the slight slur on the conduct of the police (it was intended as a "joke" after all) but don't appear to have any problem with the fact that the SAS put one between the eyes of a defenceless rabbit or that the paras beat the Cr*p out of it. If the animal defence league start to join the comments then I suggest that one of the Moderators pulls this and I'll only post politically correct jokes in future. Your reply is (almost) funnier than the joke but I sincerely apologise if you found this offensive :o
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #11 on: 17 September 2010, 17:58:55 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
The filth never could take a joke ::)

Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?

I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D

Over what BV?
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Jim

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #12 on: 17 September 2010, 18:01:02 »

Very Good!! ;D ;D
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Bent valve

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #13 on: 17 September 2010, 18:01:50 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
The filth never could take a joke ::)

Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?

I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D

Over what BV?
I'm not saying anything else without my solictor present ::)
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: The SAS the Paras and Plod
« Reply #14 on: 17 September 2010, 18:03:35 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
The filth never could take a joke ::)

Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?

I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D

Over what BV?
I'm not saying anything else without my solictor present ::)

Fair enough :y
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