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[millwall]

been caught doing at work
I farted in a lift then looked at an old biddy and said was that you. the lift was packed

when i was 18 i got caught by my boss banging his mrs in a warehouse  needless to say i got sacked there and then

[Omega_Dan]

Trying to run for the bus when i was 16, kept looking behind me to see if i would make it and ran straight in to a bin infront of alot of people!

[Gaffers]

One night after 2 bottles of wine I went to sit down on the camping fold-out chair except the chair was 1m to my left

Cant remember actually going to bed that night 

[Lizzie_Zoom]

Running for a train at Grove Park, SE London, in very high stack heels that were very fashionable then in 1970.  Twisted my ankle, in view of hundreds on the train, and then watched it swell during the evening so that eventually I had to lean on my boy friend for support to get around and return home .


.............and no it didn't stop me being fashionable or wearing high heels which I still do every day!!

[Richie London]

looking at a nice girl walking down the rd, i looked round as she passed, walked into a 3ft bollard straight in the nuts and flew over the top of it.

went out one night for a drink, didnt realise for 2 hrs i still had my slippers on 

stood outside ealing broadway station waiting for the date i met the night before in a club, just stood there for about half hr, until a girl walked up to me and called me a bstrd. i couldnt remember what she looked like.

 

[millwall]

looking at a nice girl walking down the rd, i looked round as she passed, walked into a 3ft bollard straight in the nuts and flew over the top of it.

went out one night for a drink, didnt realise for 2 hrs i still had my slippers on 

stood outside ealing broadway station waiting for the date i met the night before in a club, just stood there for about half hr, until a girl walked up to me and called me a bstrd. i couldnt remember what she looked like.

 

ouch

[omegod]

Driving down the road with my girlfriend in the car, she points out my ex getting into a car( absolute stunner ) I try and spot her for a peep and slam into the back of a fiesta, the car my ex was getting into was my old driving instructors and they were both p*ssing themselves !!

Argos in Birkenhead 2 days before Christmas, packed with shoppers and I was picking up some stuff for a nursing home refit I was involved in. Weighed down with bags I left the till only for the spotty little oik to shout very loudly " Excuse me sir , you have forgotted one of your incontinence sheets" I could have died of the shame!!!!

[millwall]

Driving down the road with my girlfriend in the car, she points out my ex getting into a car( absolute stunner ) I try and spot her for a peep and slam into the back of a fiesta, the car my ex was getting into was my old driving instructors and they were both p*ssing themselves !!

Argos in Birkenhead 2 days before Christmas, packed with shoppers and I was picking up some stuff for a nursing home refit I was involved in. Weighed down with bags I left the till only for the spotty little oik to shout very loudly " Excuse me sir , you have forgotted one of your incontinence sheets" I could have died of the shame!!!!

oi pissypants

[Banjax]

met a girl i knew from school on a train about 10 yrs after we'd left and I was banging on the whole journey about fellow pupils, our teachers, all the stuff we used to get up to....she couldn't remember any of it which I thought was odd until I got off the train and it dawned on me she worked in a bar I used to go to: we weren't schoolmates at all - she probably still thinks I'm a bit special, never met her again

[Banjax]

a friends wife was at a family wedding, while the tables were getting cleared she nipped to the loo, came out and was speaking to a pal "whats your table like" her pal asked
"christ - really dull - I've been stuck with my Aunt xxxx and Uncle xxxxx and theyre boring as hell"

of course, you'll have guessed who came out a cubicle next - she still cringes about that, quite rightly 

[Debs.]

Many years ago; whilst living in the U.S....

........asked my P.A to get me a box of rubbers; only for her to (visibly) blanche and stutter with a stunned clearly embarrassed reply:

"Well yes...erm, ok....I guess, yes`um; I could go into town for some; if you really want me to?" :-/

Then, I discovered what I`d actually asked her for!
  ...and I only wanted some erasers!

[millwall]

Many years ago; whilst living in the U.S....

........asked my P.A to get me a box of rubbers; only for her to (visibly) blanche and stutter with a stunned clearly embarrassed reply:

"Well yes...erm, ok....I guess, yes`um; I could go into town for some; if you really want me to?" :-/

Then, I discovered what I`d actually asked her for!
  ...and I only wanted some erasers!

ha ha quality   

[Gaffers]

Many years ago; whilst living in the U.S....

........asked my P.A to get me a box of rubbers; only for her to (visibly) blanche and stutter with a stunned clearly embarrassed reply:

"Well yes...erm, ok....I guess, yes`um; I could go into town for some; if you really want me to?" :-/

Then, I discovered what I`d actually asked her for!
  ...and I only wanted some erasers!

ha ha quality   

At least you didn't ask for a bunch of fags

[Richie London]

this has to be the most embaressing thing ever happened to me.

was working at lakeside shopping centre. 1 morning i got on the train and there was about 5 or so minutes till it left. went for a dump on the train and half way through the bloody door slid open and it was too far to close by sitting down. half the platform stood there with grins on there faces while i sat there unable to move, until someone on the train closed it. never felt so embaressed in all my life when i came out to sit down. 

[Debs.]

this has to be the most embaressing thing ever happened to me.

was working at lakeside shopping centre. 1 morning i got on the train and there was about 5 or so minutes till it left. went for a dump on the train and half way through the bloody door slid open and it was too far to close by sitting down. half the platform stood there with grins on there faces while i sat there unable to move, until someone on the train closed it. never felt so embaressed in all my life when i came out to sit down. 

  You should`ve stood up and 'wiped' the grin off their faces!