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[tigers_gonads]

Comprimise reached - she can't out techie me!

We have her password somewhere safe, and we will only check if she gives us permission or if we have problems.

If everybody's happy.................   Sorted    

[Martin_1962]

As I said all accounts apart from Paypal on the PC are available to anyone (no online banking) she could post on OOF if she wanted.

She knows we are not interested but we do keep the control if necessary to prevent future embarassments.

Keep to simple chat, games ect no issues, as we said nothing on the internet is truly private and you do not know who would trawl through the acount in future, could be very embarrasing to a future employer.

Sounds strange but we are trying to allow freedom but keep tight checks to make sure they are OK.

BTW the boys will not be allowed on until they hit a real 13 and not a pretend one.

Sue set up a FB account for me - only time I go on is if OOF is down to see what people are saying, all posts are my wife playing the games, or auto posts from PSN of trophies earned.

[tigers_gonads]

Glad you have things sorted Martin 

Joys of being a parent, but if your owt like me, you wouldn't change it for the world 


Fao Miss Imber, if you think this is bad, just wait till your dad is playing "bouncer" on the front door when you bring your first boyfriend home 

[Rods2]

IMHO all you can do is explain your concerns and talk to her about the dangers of society and as a parent you want to make sure she is alright (by now her eyes are glazed, so a waste of time)! 

IMHO and experience you can't lecture a teenager, you just get glazed eyes and a strop, as to me teenage years are fledgling years, changing from a dependent child to an independent adult, but you can set boundaries and get her to understand you. IMO experience the best way is very often using reverse physiology to get them to feel your emotions of anxiety.

For example: You ask her where she is going?

With my friends!

I want you home by 10pm, that so not fair, they are all allowed to stay out to 11 or 12, and Sarah is allowed out to 1am, why can't I?

Because we think at your age 10pm is quite late enough?

Your so old fashioned, it so unfair, why can't I stay out until at least 11pm, I'll only be with my friends from school?

Who are they?

Just my normal friends, that's who, big sigh, can I have names and  mobile number? Glazed eyes, big Kevin strop and sigh, you've got mine what more do you want (in her best stroppy voice)!

Reverse physiology then cuts in by asking her how she would feel if she came home and you and your wife wearn't there... (big pause) it was raining you were cold, wet and hungry (pause). You called our mobiles and all she got was our voicemail (pause). You didn't know where we had gone apart from us saying we were going to be with our friends. two hours later, there was still no sign of us as as we were having a really good time, how would you feel (pause)? (probably normal teenage uncertain answer, So)

Then tell her, if we had told you where we were going and given you our friends phone numbers and you had called them and spoken to us, would you have felt much better? This is the only reason why we ask where you are going and who you are going with and in case we can't contact you on your mobile, you can for our reassurance give us your friends mobile number, (big sigh. ok, if you must it is....)

My daughter was a wild child during her teenage years, but it has all turned out for the good as she is a fine adult.

One day, I will tell you more about my daughters, Miss Melissa Marie, teenage strop years. I always tell her I had no grey hairs until I had her, now my head is full of them 

[Bionic]

Grey hair Rods2? I lost most of mine by pulling it out 
Martin m8, I know you are trying to protect her but from experience you would only drive her further away from what you would like. Why not simply sit her down and talk to her sensibly, provide proof of what has happened to others and teach her how to be more alert to developing situations and more importantly what to do if they happen. Like it or not my friend, she is now a young lady and not a young girl anymore. Kids have a nasty habit of growing up  ;)All you can really do is to give her some credit for being sensible when she is and be gentle when you rattle her cage when she is not. Expect the backchat too Explanation is always better than force where the young are concerned.
Ask yourself if you were her would you like it being done to you? No doubt at her age her body changes are also having a large impact on her behaviour and that is something even she cannot control....its just nature taking its course.
Bloody hell I must sound like captain sensible.....but there again I have ben there and worn the tee shirt, more importantly everything turned out ok in the end.
Good Luck m8, you will need the patience of god over the next few years....BUT don't give up on her cos she will probably turn out to be someone you are very proud of........ In ther meantime look in the mirror and if you see this  get help!
By the way, there is free software that will reveal what is under the asterisks that are used to conceal passwords but would you really want to stoop that low?

[Rods2]

I maybe a fool or a glutton for punishment (or it just shows I really enjoy the procreative process  ) as I have my 23 year old daughter and grey hairs, but I now have a second brood, with a 13 month old daughter from my second marriage. 

But my 23 year old daughter has given me three wonderful grandchildren as is already planning more... and my young daughter is a fantastic child who always has a smile of her face. Too me you can't beat family life for all its highs and lows.

But I'm a much better father / grandfather now I'm older. Is it experience or that youth is wasted on the young? 

Martin your concerns, show your a good dad with protective worries and that you are trying your best, but I personally I think that asking for an account password is going too far, (remember reverse physiology), just chat to her on who she meets online and play it by ear from there in a very passive agreeable way, as all you want is a general picture, to decide if everything is okay or if you have a problem. Even if in the unlikely event you discover problems you will find out far more by gentle agreement and chatting than you will by confrontation. Once you have found out the situation, you can act from there.

Part of being a child is keeping secrets from our parents, me, my older brother Tim and my older sister Angela had books in different locations in our house and we decided to join them together as our library, our secret library.  I've still got some of these books (where I'm a hoarder)  and they have SL written inside the front cover to show they were part of our  Secret Library, our parents never knew about this, till the day they died, so all secrets are not bad secrets. I've never even mentioned or discussed this with anybody, since I was a child until today.

[TheBoy]

Right, I don't know arse-book, I'm straight. So not entirely sure if this would work. But can't she add you as a friend, then at least you can see what she is doing there?