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[Dave-C]

Subject: British Tenants' Complaints Dept   ( you couldn't make it up )
 
 

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters...

 

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen

12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

21. Pease send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

22.  I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

 
DC  

[STMO123]

 

[raximax]

some mothers do have them lol

[Elite Pete]

 

[Danny]

fantastic

where did you find those?

[MikeDundee]

Class complaints , wish the complaints I received were as laughable as those, However,  tend to joke more with the tenants. I was inspecting some completed kitchens on Thursday morning as I was leaving site the tenants was outside and asked if i was going into her property I said no we have already inspected it, she said what do you think, good is'nt it she said, I said no I did'nt accept it, it all has to come out and be re-done its a terrible job. Well if you had seen her face. The obviously I told her I was only joking.

However, on some serious notes one tenant switched on his gas fire but did'nt light the gas, luckily we had contractors working on the property upstairs and doing some work in his property and smelt the gas. However, if they were'nt there you can surmise what the end result would have been.  
  

[Dave-C]

fantastic

where did you find those?

Dunno!


e-mailed to me by a friend..DC