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[sir moanalot]

hi all, last night had an amicable split from my missus after 8 years, now thats where it gets complicated.  she leaves right next doors/opposite to me- i own my place but she does not, so would remaining friends as she wants (she still wants to go out playing sports and the odd night in watching a fave programme with me) be ok or would there be too many complications and should i tell her to completely split and be looking for a move away? weird one eh? tone.

[sir moanalot]

i meant to say lives right next door ( five steps away like on friends!!!)

[Ronald_McBurger]

Just friends never works mate. if this is a real split and not just a tiff, call it a day and put it all behind you. Staying friends doesn't work if she gets a new bloke or you get a new cleaner.

Sorry to hear the news, but try and move on. It will be hard after that long, but time is a great healer.

Good luck.

[STMO123]

A very unusual situation Tone, and one I dont think many of us will have been in. I couldn't possibly give any advice except keep it pleasant, if you can. After two divorces, I am qualified to say it can either be difficult or very difficult

[Martin_1962]

If friendly and want to see each other why split?

[Timbuk]

Being friends can work, but it is rare. My mum and dad are still very good friends after 20 yrs apart and i do believe a certain Mr Bob Dent is still very good friends with his ex. Good luck for the future whatever happens

[Owen]

Yup Im a member of the divourceNever an easy situation mate! You can take all the advice in the world but in the end its all down to your personnal choice, down to what ever makes you most happiest in the given situation.  Do whatever is best for 'you' is all I would say.
Having gone through the divource thing twice, I found that life doesnt properly carry on, untill you decide to move on! But thats just my opinion


Aint it strange how they always wanna be friends just after ther ripped your heart out!

[nixoro]

Give it time i'd say see what happens you never know it may just be a temporary thing if she still wants to do the couple-y stuff.

Good luck with it  

[Markie]

Firstly hope your fine and it was not too turbulent and good luck in what you decide  

Friends more than often does not work - but agree with the comments about ex`s can becoming very good plutonic mates. However i would think theres a lot of work to get to that stage.

Personally if it was me i would break clean.....but thats me  :-/

[Admin]

I will not advise directly as this sort of thing is an emotional minefield.  :-/

All I can say is, I chose to make a clean break when I split from my ex wife and if I was to split from my current partner I would again make it a clean break.

Whether these are amicable or not, you have to allow time for you to recover and move on.
When you keep in contact immediately after the event this becomes very difficult and can result in negative feelings developing towards the other person.

Friendship may well be possible in the future....

[bob.dent]

As Timbuk said in his post, it can sometimes work out ok as it has with me. However it wasn't easy when we first got divorced as it was my ex that committed adultery. Anyway, it didn't last long with her new boyfriend and she soon realised the error of her ways and that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. As we slowly became friends again, we tried to make a go of things again but this didn't work for one reason or another. Anyway, over the years we spent time together as friends (more like really good mates) and have remained so ever since. More recently she moved to Devon with her Mum and my youngest son and found a house that we have now bought as a joint venture.

I'm not saying this kind of situation works for everyone - probably very few, but it can do. Also it doesn't happen overnight either. I think more than anything else we tried hard to stay friends if only for my two sons who were quite young at the time, but it paid off in the end.

Anyway, whatever happens Tone, you never know whats round the next corner and I hope it all works out for the best  

[megaomega123]

Why not? If you are both willing to remain friends then do so. You have both lost a partner so why lose a friend too? The only thing I will say is If either of you meet new partners you need to make sure that the new partner is comfortable with this arrangement.
I used to live with a woman who's ex husband lived across the road. He used to pop in willy nilly or he would be in the house watching tv when we got back from somewhere. This was very awkward for me.

So, go for it but be careful when a 3rd party becomes involved.

[Craig_R]

This Is a Hard One Mate But At the End of the Day its up to you People can only give advice and to make matters worse everyone is different.

My own Experence after My Ex Wife Is now I try and Have little to do with her as at the begining of splitting from her i wanted to be mates and it worked fine for abit until she started to want to get her way even though we were not together everything had to be her way or no way but she was a very controling woman. Now she uses my daughter as a weapon againt me and does not let me see her.

If I had to do it over again to be honest I would have nothing to do with an Ex from Day Dot of breaking up and move on as I have found that life is not that scary being single and if its meant to be it will be if not its not.

I bet things will change if she finds a new man or you find a new lady a new partner would not be impressed if you spend loads of time with an Ex partner.

But At the end of the Day Its Your Life and you Do what you Feel Is right

Best Of Luck Mate With Whatever You Go For  

Craig

[Danny]

I split with my ex just days before xmas, explained that trying to stay friends never works, because i still loved her, so I just wanted to part on good terms...

then i found out she already had a new guy "lined up" and she'd lied to me, i hate her and i'm happier without her

everyone's situation is different, some people can remain friends, some cant, simple (or complicated) as that

[Martin_1962]

Women CAN be quite evil, Sue used to work for a solicitors and quite often with matrimonial the women were to be honest bitches!