So what have you done to your car today?

[dave the builder]

Your right, so what you should is paint it Rubens red and then send it down to me. I promise I will take very good care of it. 

Thanks for the kind offer    But i'm not painting it a common colour like red ,this will be painted ultra rare Z157 star silver 3 

or maybe I should do the whole car in Police livery ,maybe the idiots would stop crashing into it then 

[Doctor Gollum]

That didn't work for three of the four prangs my ex Plod had... White Omegas are apparently invisible 

[dave the builder]

That didn't work for three of the four prangs my ex Plod had... White Omegas are apparently invisible 

Silver ones are invisible too    clicky 

[Kevin Wood]

<Yesterday, actually.>

Tried to start the kit car to drive home form work and it started to turn over then there was a fizzing noise and a smell of sulphur and all the leccy disappeared.  Took a bulb out of the fog light and used it and a random bit of wire to diagnose the issue. Quickly realised that the battery had suffered a sudden and terminal failure.

Phoned Mrs. KW, who said she'd pop over in the Jag with some jump leads rather than wait for Green Flag.

Mrs. KW gets forced off the road by a disciple of Onan in a French shitbox, bursting a tyre. XE doesn't have a spare tyre.*

So, double "wait for recovery truck" comedy ensues. Guy turns up to me in a van only, jump starts it (took 2 packs in parallel), pronounces battery dead so drive home without stalling it is.

Road closed, so end up taking the XC route and getting lost. Green flag app which I'd unsuccessfully tried to install to summon recovery appears to have borked my phone so no sat nav. So, multiple turns down multiple blind alleys and farm tracks all negotiated without stalling.

Meanwhile, AA turn up to assist Emma only to find they don't have a temporary wheel to fit the XE, so now awaiting mobile tyre fitting guy.

Finally both got home at 9 PM.

Out of hours tyre fitting charge is approximately the same as the cost of a spare wheel**. False economy, Tata.

*- technically, it has a spare alloy in the garage which I've not yet got round to fitting a tyre and pressure monitor to.
** - Bot not from a Jag dealer, naturally.

[Doctor Gollum]

I'll wager that the wheel is now in the boot...

It will raise a chuckle in a couple of months, but that definitely sounds like one of those days. At least it wasn't raining

[STEMO]

New front pads and a DRL changed (I haven't got the gadget hands or the patience to do it myself). £87, back in two hours.

[ronnyd]

That didn't work for three of the four prangs my ex Plod had... White Omegas are apparently invisible 

Silver ones are invisible too    clicky 

Seeing that God awful bit of driving, i'm glad i have a driveway. Though the tin tent was on it when the moron up the road left his handbrake off and my Desmond was the first thing, (parked in the road) that his driverless Astra encountered. 

[dave the builder]

That didn't work for three of the four prangs my ex Plod had... White Omegas are apparently invisible 

Silver ones are invisible too    clicky 

Seeing that God awful bit of driving, i'm glad i have a driveway. Though the tin tent was on it when the moron up the road left his handbrake off and my Desmond was the first thing, (parked in the road) that his driverless Astra encountered. 

I could move to a house with a drive ,but Mrs builder is one of those reckless astra  drivers 

[luizvivas]

After 28 years of use, the speedometer's speed sensor began to leak oil from the GETRAG R-25.

[Doctor Gollum]

Failed to get the aircon regassed. Needs both fill valves replacing.

Successfully got the ESP/ABS issue resolved, for significantly less than anticipated.

Ten minutes at a knowledgeable and suitably equipped independent was all it needed.

[Raeturbo]

May well be what it needed, but not easy to find

[Doctor Gollum]

Replacement powersounder acquired and fitted.

A nice 15 minute job between showers.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

<Yesterday, actually.>

Tried to start the kit car to drive home form work and it started to turn over then there was a fizzing noise and a smell of sulphur and all the leccy disappeared.  Took a bulb out of the fog light and used it and a random bit of wire to diagnose the issue. Quickly realised that the battery had suffered a sudden and terminal failure.

Phoned Mrs. KW, who said she'd pop over in the Jag with some jump leads rather than wait for Green Flag.

Mrs. KW gets forced off the road by a disciple of Onan in a French shitbox, bursting a tyre. XE doesn't have a spare tyre.*

So, double "wait for recovery truck" comedy ensues. Guy turns up to me in a van only, jump starts it (took 2 packs in parallel), pronounces battery dead so drive home without stalling it is.

Road closed, so end up taking the XC route and getting lost. Green flag app which I'd unsuccessfully tried to install to summon recovery appears to have borked my phone so no sat nav. So, multiple turns down multiple blind alleys and farm tracks all negotiated without stalling.

Meanwhile, AA turn up to assist Emma only to find they don't have a temporary wheel to fit the XE, so now awaiting mobile tyre fitting guy.

Finally both got home at 9 PM.

Out of hours tyre fitting charge is approximately the same as the cost of a spare wheel**. False economy, Tata.

*- technically, it has a spare alloy in the garage which I've not yet got round to fitting a tyre and pressure monitor to.
** - Bot not from a Jag dealer, naturally.

My XFR does, but I note from the original sale invoice it was a £165 option.

F*uckers.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Replacement powersounder acquired and fitted.

A nice 15 minute job between showers.

For the Omega?

That should produce a nice warming blaze.

[Doctor Gollum]

Replacement powersounder acquired and fitted.

A nice 15 minute job between showers.

For the Omega?

That should produce a nice warming blaze.

I hope not, I've put it in the wheel arch