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[Ken T]

My Daughter is getting married in a couple of days, my speech is coming on OK, but I could do with a couple of funny jokes to put in. Any suggestions ?. I recently saw Billy Connolly in Sheffield thinking I could poss borrow a couple of his jokes but no, wrong sort of humour.......... Mind you I must pass on this one : Have you heard about the Suicide Bomber Instructor who says to his class " Now pay attention, I am only going to show you this once". Very good, but not really the sort of thing for the wedding !. Any usable jokes please let me know
Cheers Ken

[omegalord]

You could say " they say the old mans speach should lsat as long as the groom makes love. So can we all raise our glasses....." lol

[Ken T]

Not bad, thanks, I recon I'll have to run that past the censor (SWMBO !) first  
Ken

[Auto Addict]

What do you call a rabbit with no ears - anything you like, he can't hear you.

[Craig_R]

What do the films "Titanic" and "Sixth Sence" have in common ?

I See Dead People

Icey Dead People

[Golfbuddy]

Here's a couple for you. Not mine I'm afraid:

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Thanks preacher for allowing me to have 16 wives: 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better, 4 worse!

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." The friend asked, "And what was he before you married him?" The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

And, if that lot don't help you there are plenty more here.

Enjoy  

[Ken T]

Excellent Guys, thanks very much  
Ken

[Marks DTM Calib]

Or...

A big thank you to 'the groom' for finaly making an honest woman out of 'the bride'.....its something I have personaly been trying to do for 'x' years and failed miserably.