A mate of mine with a kit car had a rather terminal engine failure in Marlow high street of all places. Not sure how he managed it but it was proper knackered.
Phoned AA :
Mate: I need a recovery truck....
Call centre worker: I'll send a patrol van...
Mate: Waste of time. I definately need a recovery truck.
Call centre worker: But did you know, sir, 99.8% of breakdowns can be fixed at the roadside..
Mate: Not this one, it can't. I need a recovery truck....
Call centre worker: But 99.8% of break...
Mate: I'm currently standing in a 5 litre pool of oil, and in it I can see bits of con rod, bits of bearing, bits of sump,...
Call centre worker: But did you know, sir, 99.8% of breakdowns can be fixed at the roadside..
Mate: You don't know much about cars, do you?
Call centre worker: Nope.
Mate: Does your manager?
Call centre worker: A little.
Mate: Well, go and tell him what I found under my car...
<pause>
Call centre worker: Recovery truck is on its' way.

Kevin