OK Matt, some tyre stuff here....
there are only two real facts of importance - these are the "static laden radius" or hub-height and the "wheel revs per mile". The first one controls how the suspension works whilst the second provides the gearing.
If you're wanting to change the tyres, then you must ensure that the hub height is the same, or it won't handle at all well. Then there's the gearing, or more specifically making sure that the front is the same as the rear or your ABS won't work properly.
the tyre sizes you have mentioned are as follows :-
235/45 x 17 817wrpm and 11.7 inch hub height
235/35 x 19 817wrpm and 12.0 inch hub height
225/35 x 19 820wrpm and 12.0 inch hub height
255/35 x 19 801wrpm and 12.2 inch hub height
In theory, moving from the "original" 235/35 x 17 to the 235/35 x 19 hasn't cost much in suspension geometry or gearing - 0.3 inches is large, but acceptable difference in hub height.
moving to your choice of 225/35 fornt and 255/35 rear will give you some problems at the rear. Firstly, the 0.5 inch hub height will be enough to affect the suspension geometry and secondly, the front and rear tyres will be revolving at different speeds which will afect the ABS, so I wouldn't do it. Speedo error will be 1.2% over what you already have. I have been trying to find you an acceptable alternative - 265/30 x 19 seems good at 820wrpm and 11.9 inch hub height, but you'd have to be careful about wheel width and arch clearance - they must be fitted to 9 or 10 inch rims.
You will notice that I haven't really referred to handling, which is the opposite of grip. By choosing tyre sizes as wide as you have, I'm assuming that handling isn't your no.1 priority. Handling is really driven by tyre wall deflection, as the wall gets smaller (stiffer), the tyre doesn't deform and there becomes less opportunity to explore the handling. Sure, you get more grip, but handling is almost always poorer. Best handling seems to be around 215-section, depending on which steering you have (possibly even 205-section)
hope this helps
(and yes, you do know me !)