Omega Owners Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Search the maintenance guides for answers to 99.999% of Omega questions

Pages: [1] 2 3 4  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Vasectomy  (Read 4186 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Pitchfork

  • Omega Baron
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Tadley (near Basingrad)
  • Posts: 2498
  • Barndances & Morris
    • View Profile
Vasectomy
« on: 06 March 2008, 08:24:37 »

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.
The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.  The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and
count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can.  He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

(This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, parts of Bradford and anywhere in Wales.)
« Last Edit: 06 March 2008, 13:01:48 by Pitchfork »
Logged
Almost famous!   www.pitchforkband.co.uk Guitar & PA Amps repaired & serviced
Ears pierced while you wait. PAT & Valve testing

cem_devecioglu

  • Guest
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #1 on: 06 March 2008, 08:27:59 »

 ;D ;D

Logged

Jimbob

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Chester / Flintshire
  • Posts: 24527
  • I like traffic lights, but only when they're green
    • E250 Est / Golf GTI
    • View Profile
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #2 on: 06 March 2008, 08:33:25 »

Glad mine wasn't like that!

Debs.

  • Guest
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #3 on: 06 March 2008, 08:33:35 »

 :y...... ;D ;D ;D ;D
Logged

shyboy

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Southport, merseyside.
  • Posts: 1202
    • Mazda 6
    • View Profile
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #4 on: 06 March 2008, 09:06:14 »

Quote
Glad mine wasn't like that!

[/highlight]

Mine felt as if it was. :-[
Logged

bob.dent

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Hertfordshire
  • Posts: 6781
  • Drives better than an Omega
    • Mondeo 2.0TDCI Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #5 on: 06 March 2008, 15:26:29 »

Quote
Glad mine wasn't like that!


You still ended up with purple plums though James! ;D
Logged
I HAVE THE BODY OF AN 18 YEAR OLD.......I KEEP IT IN THE FRIDGE!

smoothomega

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Perth, Western Australia
  • Posts: 1240
  • 2002 2.2DTI CDX,
    • View Profile
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #6 on: 06 March 2008, 15:31:42 »

PMSL  ;D ;D ;D
Logged

Debs.

  • Guest
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #7 on: 06 March 2008, 15:38:52 »

Quote
Quote
Glad mine wasn't like that!


You still ended up with purple plums though James! ;D
:o OMG! :o

That must`ve been the two house bricks budget-vasectomy!  ;D
Logged

Marks DTM Calib

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • West Bridgford
  • Posts: 34018
  • Git!
    • View Profile
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #8 on: 06 March 2008, 15:40:36 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Glad mine wasn't like that!


You still ended up with purple plums though James! ;D
:o OMG! :o

That must`ve been the two house bricks budget-vasectomy!  ;D

Apparantly the NHS budget is a bit tight up in north wales
Logged

Jimbob

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Chester / Flintshire
  • Posts: 24527
  • I like traffic lights, but only when they're green
    • E250 Est / Golf GTI
    • View Profile
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #9 on: 06 March 2008, 15:50:10 »

Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!

Now theres a nice mental image for you all  :-[

Debs.

  • Guest
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #10 on: 06 March 2008, 16:43:38 »

Quote
Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!

Now theres a nice mental image for you all  :-[

TMI Jimbob  :o
May I be the first to wish you good-luck with the (Ahem!) 'test'  :y.....`begs the question though; what happens if you fail (or is it pass)?  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Logged

Crazydad

  • Omega Baron
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Germany
  • Posts: 3382
    • 2.5 V6 facelift
    • View Profile
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #11 on: 06 March 2008, 16:48:18 »

Great ;D ;D ;D ;D
Logged

waspy

  • Guest
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #12 on: 06 March 2008, 19:01:03 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Logged

waspy

  • Guest
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #13 on: 06 March 2008, 19:03:17 »

Quote
Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!

Now theres a nice mental image for you all  :-[

I hope someone gave you a hand  ;D
Logged

Debs.

  • Guest
Re: Vasectomy
« Reply #14 on: 06 March 2008, 19:08:31 »

Quote
Quote
Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!

Now theres a nice mental image for you all  :-[

I hope someone gave you a hand  ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D .....and.... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3 4  All   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.014 seconds with 16 queries.