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[millwall]

A bit tongue in cheek I know but, feel free to join me and add to my list as they strike you   

"Why is the dish washer on?" Er, because the cam cover / headlight lenses need cleaning!!

"Have you painted something in the front room?" No! I painted in the kitchen. It's drying on the radiator in the front room.

"Were you expecting a parcel today?" No, I was expecting it yesterday. Now where is it??!!

"Do you know what vauxparts  is on the credit card bill?" NO. Do you??

"Those wheels on the car look different. Have you changed them?" I love you darling   

"Are you going to spend all night on oof  Er no, there's an SQL error so Im going to bed now!

[aaronjb]

 

When I was living in the flat I did some painting in the kitchen.. the neighbours upstairs asked me if I'd been painting, because their bathroom stank of paint fumes - I guess the air vents went to a communal tube, then.

[redelitev6]

  Wife says to me"you know we live in tyne and wear, where does the river tyne become the river wear?" err it's two seperate rivers you idiot, cue lots of huffing and swearing !!!

[Johnny English]

"Those wheels on the car look different. Have you changed them?" I love you darling   

When I paid my first car first doing was turning around the town where we lived with my girlfriend. Let's try our new car! My honey got in at first I was the second. I said "Khm...baby...it's driver's side..." 

[omegod]

She asks how much the insurance was this year on the 3.0, "well weirdly it went down £100 this year so it definately makes financial sense to keep it"

Lies , lies and more lies