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[millwall]

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

[bored bigyin54]

just get rid of cameron that will save money

[Varche]

Excellent especially the bit about our old folk and prisoners   

[aaronjb]

I emailed my local MP about fuel prices recently - got a letter by way of reply on posh headed paper and a nice thick envelope (he could have saved money by just emailing me back) that read "High oil prices blah blah blah hold on the duty increase thanks to us blah blah blah not our fault blah blah blah suck it blah"

I paraphrase, naturally.

They're all a waste of space. Send 'em all to Gitmo.

[albitz]

just get rid of cameron that will save money

And replace him with who ?...............I cant stand the bloke,but he is the slightly lesser of the three possible evils.

[cleggy]

Nigel Farage 

[albitz]

Now your talking Cleggy.

[the alarming man]

god help us all....we are going to hell in a hand cart now

[Dishevelled Den]

just get rid of cameron that will save money

And replace him with who ?...............I cant stand the bloke,but he is the slightly lesser of the three possible evils.

Nigel Farage 

Two very valid comments.

I'm all for emptying Westminster - but what (or whom) do we replace those ejected into the real world with.

No one should underestimate how difficult it will be to have a viable, committed and proficient government elected in the place of the present bloodsuckers.

It would be essential for an orderly transition and to prevent the country (and its institutions) sliding into disarray.

We have been so efficiently oppsed over by the present incumbents that the road to recovery – avoiding a new administrating practising a similar policy of blatant realpolitik - will be a long and rocky one.

[Dishevelled Den]

Now your talking Cleggy.

I honestly don't think he's up to it son - there seems to be a distinct lack of strategic awareness and absence in the charisma necessary within his character to rally a populace that has been ground into the soil of this nation by the present and past charlatans at Westminster.

Maybe it’s just me but I not feeling him - as our brothers would say.

[bored bigyin54]

replace him with you albs you can do a better job

[cleggy]

How about an OOF cabinet. .

No mods tho' except  maybe the Pink One, Minister of Sport
I bagsy Home Secretary, or Immigration,  70 million my arse. Need a good minister for Transport to ship the buggers out 

[jaykay]

How about an OOF cabinet. .

No mods tho' except  maybe the Pink One, Minister of Sport
I bagsy Home Secretary, or Immigration,  70 million my arse. Need a good minister for Transport to ship the buggers out 

Love it..I now have a broad grin on my face

[Abiton]

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

[snip]

By my reckoning that would increase the national debt by a factor of ten. 
Might be tricky to arrange just now. 

[PhilRich]

The OP is obviously tongue in cheek, but by gum most of it hit a sympathetic nerve here!