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[Debs.]

A plane was taking off from Heathrow.
After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the  intercom:
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to  Flight Number
293, nonstop from Heathrow  to Los  Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore,  we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax......OH SH*T, JESUS CHRIST!....

Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain
came  back on the intercom and said:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap; You should see the  front of my pants!"

A passenger in economy shouted-out:
"That's nothing....You should see the back of mine!."  

[Big Fra]

I think I mite have pee'd a little. :-?

[zippo]

  come on Debs fess up . Where do get'em from .Or do you have a lot of spare time  

[Tony H]

 

[Gaffers]

A plane was taking off from Heathrow.
After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the  intercom:
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to  Flight Number
293, nonstop from Heathrow  to Los  Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore,  we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax......OH SH*T, JESUS CHRIST!....

Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain
came  back on the intercom and said:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap; You should see the  front of my pants!"

A passenger in economy shouted-out:
"That's nothing....You should see the back of mine!."  

Stranger things have actually happened on flights.  SWMBO is a trolley dolly and she has heard some corkers.  The best one was a purser after a particularly hard landing at heathrow which caused several oxygen masks to fall down and the odd locker to open:

"Please remain seated while Capt. Kangaroo taxis what is left of the aircraft to the terminal...."

[Debs.]

 .....Yikes!