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[cleggy]

This, apparently is an actual letter received by the UK Passport
Office.


Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed
for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving
license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had,
on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out
before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all
those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's
name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-f**king-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me,
I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house,
then you ask me for my f**king address!!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last f**king people I'd want to tell!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
poxy city to get another f**king copy of my birth certificate, to the
tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the
same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f**kin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not
allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f**kin' morons) Hey, do you know why
we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

Signed

An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 .......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am
- you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F**KING PAKISTAN !

[mantahatch]

Very funny but sadly not true. If you have had a previous passport and you are over 18 you do not need to get the pictures countersigned. 

[tunnie]

Sky was not founded until 1990 

[cem_devecioglu]

must confess either true or false made me chuckle here

[fiend61]

thats the sort of letter that i have never had the balls to write but always wished i had 

[Varche]

He wouldn't last five minutes in Spain. I am afraid to say that folk in Britain are spoon fed when it comes to filling in forms and renewing stuff. I wonder how he would feel for example paying 20p for the form he needs, having no sheet giving you tips on how to fill each section in, having to go to a bank to pay the fee and get the application stamped to show fee is paid, then going back to the office at 11.30 a.m. only to find you are too late to be seen that day as tickets have been issued right up to 5p.m. Come back another day.....................  No wonder Britain is Great!

[Varche]

He wouldn't last five minutes in Spain. I am afraid to say that folk in Britain are spoon fed when it comes to filling in forms and renewing stuff. I wonder how he would feel for example paying 20p for the form he needs, having no sheet giving you tips on how to fill each section in, having to go to a bank to pay the fee and get the application stamped to show fee is paid, then going back to the office at 11.30 a.m. only to find you are too late to be seen that day as tickets have been issued right up to 5p.m. Come back another day.....................  No wonder Britain is Great!

Edit   Forgot to add that when you get served if you haven't a photocopy of everything you might need(remember no notes telling you what is needed) they won't take a copy at the counterr you have to go outside and pay for a copy at a shop and then you have lost your place in the queue and start again............

[albitz]

No wonder Spain is bankrupt - sounds utterly inefficient.

[Dishevelled Den]

No wonder Spain is bankrupt - sounds utterly inefficient.

They do have some nice weather over there all the same.

[Omega32E]

Shame its not a council parking ticket, they know who you are, where you are and its normally on your doormat within 14 days.