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31621

General Discussion Area / Re: 93% of Women won't.................

« on: 05 July 2008, 20:47:50 »

Doesn't surprise me Dusty.

I am 6ft 1in and Mrs Optimist is 5ft 6in

She tells me she has never been out with a shortarse

31622

General Discussion Area / Re: 93% of Women won't.................

« on: 05 July 2008, 20:18:09 »

Is it men with Ginger hair Dusty?

I know a lot of women and non of them like ginger nuts

31623

General Discussion Area / Re: The Hippy and The Nun - Joke

« on: 04 July 2008, 20:55:44 »

Very good Optimist

Nice to see you back Lizzie.   :

31624

General Discussion Area / The Hippy and The Nun - Joke

« on: 04 July 2008, 15:50:08 »

This is my 1st joke on OOF and may well be may last if I find Scruntie has already done it

Anyway here goes

A hippy and a nun are travelling on a bus.
The hippy looks across at the nun and says "I would very much like to have sex with you"
The nun is flattered and a little embarassed but says "I will only give myself to the Lord"
As the hippy gets off the bus the bus driver stops him and says " If you want your evil way with that nun I can help you. She goes to the graveyard every night looking for the Lord." He added, "if you dress up in some flowing robes and cover your face, you may be able to fool her, and have your wicked way with her."
So the hippy dresses up in long robes and goes to the dimly lit cemetary where he spots the nun. "I am the Lord" he says loudly "and I demand that you give yourself to me."
The nun was surprised but says "I have been waiting for this moment, and am willing to give myself to you on one condition. Because I am Virgin you can only take me from behind."
The hippy agrees and sets to work. After a while he can disguise his deception no longer, upon which he pulls back his hood and says " Ha Ha I have fooled you. I am not really the Lord I am the hippy."
Upon which the nun pulls back her veil and says "Ha Ha I have fooled you, for I am not really the nun I am the bus driver"

31625

General Discussion Area / Re: best chat up line???

« on: 04 July 2008, 12:23:04 »

Northern chat technique..Ay up you dont sweat much for a fat lass.

Best not to try if you wish to keep your teeth..........

31626

General Discussion Area / Re: Quiz Night Saturday!!

« on: 30 June 2008, 15:57:10 »

Look forward to it. But not too difficult please, there are a lot of knuckle draggers at this forum.

31627

General Discussion Area / Re: What's the World coming to?

« on: 04 July 2008, 15:33:39 »

I feel I need to let off a bit of steam. The World now seems a place that is out of control. And it all seems man made.

For instance

The global demand for bio fuels has meant that there are less crops for food, hence the great hike in prices of wheat and other cereals crops.

Because these have gone through the roof animal feeds have had a knock on effect on dairy products, such as butter, milk and eggs.

What with the oil prices shooting ever upwards, our daily shopping bills have rocketed skywards.

I almost feel dare I say it that the blame lays fair and square with our Governments around the World.

What would you do? Put them in a dark room and throw away the key? Or maybe you agree with them and want to shake their hand?

Whatever delights you have instore for them let us all know now

Women can't have equal opportunities and then claim everything is mans fault

31628

General Discussion Area / Re: Was i conned?

« on: 05 July 2008, 13:35:43 »

£120 seems just about reasonable.

31629

General Discussion Area / Re: How many women.

« on: 03 July 2008, 23:23:02 »

Welcome back Lizzie

31630

General Discussion Area / Re: baby names

« on: 03 July 2008, 21:03:48 »

I like Hannah. Its a palindrome so is unusual.

31631

General Discussion Area / Re: Road wars

« on: 04 July 2008, 22:45:38 »

road wars ,always worth a look.

31632

General Discussion Area / Re: Vulcan gets the o.k.

« on: 04 July 2008, 11:40:24 »

Saw it on the local news here in Lincolnshire.
Beautiful looking plane,loks so modern considering its age..

31633

General Discussion Area / Re: Birthday Girl What Would You Buy?

« on: 04 July 2008, 11:06:59 »

I loved saying in a 4 poster bed!
My money is definately on jewellery though!
Does your wife know youve given her age out on here, us girls can be touchy about these things you know!!

Mrs Optimist won't mind me telling everyone she's 44 especially when she's really almost 70............er just joking sweetheart please don't hit me again...ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!

31634

General Discussion Area / Re: Birthday Girl What Would You Buy?

« on: 03 July 2008, 19:33:53 »

4 Star pent house suit (7th floor, only suite), Leeds City center, amazing views, (All so in mnachester)

£90, see my Facebook album for pics,

Never ever fails to impress the ladies,

PM me if you (or any other member) wants details

Interesting

31635

General Discussion Area / Re: Birthday Girl What Would You Buy?

« on: 03 July 2008, 19:32:30 »

A holiday mate!!! Never fails   I have an appartment in a quite NE tip of Ibiza... OOF members welcome anytime... unless myself or the parents are there  

I might take you up on that one mate especially if it's cheap