On a farm out in the boonies, lived this young lad who had met an older woman, from the big city, named Jill. She had recently moved into a house down the road from the farm.
While the lad was a bit naive, having been born and raised on a farm, Jill was worldly and was teaching the lad some love making tricks he'd never even dreamed about.
One day they were on the couch, and things were getting hot and heavy when she told him, "I want to do something different today. I want you to give me a Sleeve Job."
"A what?" the lad asked. "A Sleeve Job," Jill replied. I want you to give me a Sleeve Job." "What's a 'Sleeve Job'?"
"I can't tell you," Jill said, coyly. "You'll have to find that out yourself. I'm too much of a lady."
So the lad left, despondedly. Who in this hick town would know what a Sleeve Job is? He asked himself. Then he brightened; Mom! Mom would know. She's from the Big City, too! In fact his whole family was from the City except he, the youngest, having been the only one born on the Farm.
He rushed home and charged in the kitchen where his mother was busy cooking dinner. "Mom! I have a question for you." "Okay, Son. Anything for my darling boy," she replied. "What's your question?" "What's a Sleeve Job, Mom?"
She stopped what she was doing, her face took on an insane look and she grabbed the biggest butcher knife she could find, charging him, swinging the lethal weapon at him. It was all he could do to keep out of her way; she was a madwoman!
She chased him throughout the house, never quite reaching him with the knife, until finally he was able to escape.
Panting and sweating he reached the woodshed where his father was cutting and stacking wood for the winter. "Dad," he sobbed, "Mom just tried to kill me with a butcher knife. And it was just because I asked her a question!" "What?!?" replied his father, "Your mother loves you, like I do! What on earth question could possibly make her do such an awful thing ?"
"Are you sure you want me to ask it? After all, Mom was okay until I asked her what a Sleeve Job is... oops!" His father turned beet red, he grabbed the axe he was cutting wood with and took a swing at his son; trying to behead him. he took off and ran into the corn field with his father cursing and ranting after him. Finally, after much zigzagging, he loses his old man in the vast rows of corn.
Really despondent now he wandered aimlessly through the corn field and happened on his older brother, Bill, who had just fixed a tractor that had broken down while he was harvesting the corn. Bill looked at him and said, "Wow! Look at you! You look like something the dog ate and then threw up. What's wrong, Bro?"
Now he and Bill were close. Closer than most brothers, in fact. But, in light of current events, the lad was hesitant at disclosing to his older sibling what the cause of it all was.
All he would reveal was, "Mom and Dad just tried to kill me!"
"What?. "Kill you? What on earth for? They love you, man. I find that hard to believe!" exclaimed Bill. "It's true! I swear!" the lad sobbed.
"Okay, okay," Bill consoled him. "I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding. I'll get it straightened out. I know I can." "Really?" the lad looked up, hopefully. "Of course! That's what brothers are for !
You and me are tight, so it's no problem. Now, what happened that would make murderers out of such great parents?" "I dunno, Bill. I'd thought everything was all right with Mom and Dad and look what happened. All I did was ask them a simple question and they went ballistic on me."
"Well, no matter what it is, guy, you know I wouldn't do that. Remember, we're tighter than most brothers." "Welllll, okay. Here goes: What's a Sleeve Job?"
Bill's expression of love instantly changed. His face got red, his eyes glazed and took on a murderous expression. He jumped on the tractor he'd just fixed and started it up. Then tried to run his brother down. The lad jumped out of the way just in time and managed to elude his now not so close brother on the much slower tractor.
Now more despondent than ever, he went back to Jill's place and knocked on the door. She answered it and saw the condition he was in. "What hurricane hit you?"
"My whole family. I asked my Mom, Dad and brother what a Sleeve Job is and they each tried to kill me!" "Oh, you poor, poor baby," she cooed.
"Just because you've been through so much, I'll have to show you what a Sleeve Job is, but first I'll have to take a shower. Meanwhile, you can undress and wait for me on the couch; I won't be long."
She went into the bathroom, took off her clothes and started the shower water.
Then, when she went to step into the shower, she slipped on a bar of soap on the floor she hadn't seen, hit her head on the toiletkilling herself instantly.
The poor lad never did find out what a Sleeve Job was.
If you find out let me know too !
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Topic: Sleeve Job :-) (Read 780 times)