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[Lawman]

"Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you've a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.  I'd say you must be a team leader, a supervisor or possibly someone in senior management."

 

Excellent!! 8-)

[rogerreno]

I just looked thro my mobile and this is the only one that maybe allowed..... :-/

A farmer said to his wife. If you had bigger tits we could rid of the cow. She said if you had a bigger dick we could get rid of the tractor driver!  

I don't think Rogerreno will like that one  

LMAO!!!! yeah.. he didn't get 1 and i'm still servicing the farmers wife (just don't tell the missus   )

[rogerreno]

A zookeeper says to Paddy "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with her. Would you consider shagging her for £500?"

Paddy replies "I will,but on 3 conditions"...

"Firstly, I don't kiss her"

"Secondly, My family will never find out"

"And Thirdly,.....Can you give me a couple of weeks to get the money together?"  

[Chopsdad]

A zookeeper says to Paddy "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with her. Would you consider shagging her for £500?"

Paddy replies "I will,but on 3 conditions"...

"Firstly, I don't kiss her"

"Secondly, My family will never find out"

"And Thirdly, Can you give me a couple of weeks to get the money together?"

 

Why not introduce the gorilla to your friend the farmers wife  

Edit - Oh no that wouldn't work, would it.  

[Chopsdad]

Even the thread's got a sense of humour - look at the size of that box!  It wern't me guvnor - honest  :-/

[rogerreno]

Even the thread's got a sense of humour - look at the size of that box!  It wern't me guvnor - honest  :-/

LMAO!!! ok officer....it was me!!! I'm the guilty party!! think that was when the cat trod on my enter key  after he announced that he was hungry

I've rectified it now....

[Chopsdad]

Even the thread's got a sense of humour - look at the size of that box!  It wern't me guvnor - honest  :-/

LMAO!!! ok officer....it was me!!! I'm the guilty party!! think that was when the cat trod on my enter key  after he announced that he was hungry

I've rectified it now....

  What can I say?  

[Marks DTM Calib]

I like this one hope its not to rude or offends any one  

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake.  By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry.  I didn't mean to hurt you.  I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going.  In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
It's quite ok," replied the snake."  Actually, my story is as yours.  I too have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother.  Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are so at least you'll have that going for you."
  
"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny.  So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail.  I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement.  The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."  So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked,

 

 

 

 

"Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you've a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.  I'd say you must be a team leader, a supervisor or possibly someone in senior management."

 

Or french....