This bloke owns a really posh pub/wine bar in Covent Garden and its 10 o'clock and hes just opened up and expecting all the "beautiful people" to start coming in. At about 11 a couple of tramps come through the door. Now he doesnt see many of these and he isnt best pleased as it might put his customers off. "oi, you two, Im not serving you, get out". "Isht alright mate", says the first tramp, "we dont want a drinksh". "Good" replies the landlord, "cause youre not getting one". "We only want some cocktail shticks" slurrs the second tramp."Right", says the landlord,"heres your cocktail sticks-now get out". The tramps leave and the bloke thinks nothing more of it until about 12 when its getting busy and 4 more tramps come through the door. "Right you lot" he says "I dont know whats going on but you are not welcome in here and you will not be served so please get out now". The first tramp sways up to him,"Itsh ok mate, we dont want a drink, we just want some cockshtail shticks". The man grabs the jar of cocktail sticks and thrusts it at the tramp:"Right, heres your cocktail sticks;get out!". This happens twice more but by 2pm its really steady and no sign of anymore tramps , then, about 2.30 as things are quietning down this solitary tramp staggers in. "Great", he thinks "just what I need". "I know, I know" he says to the tramp before he can even speak, "you dont want a drink, you just want a coctail stick" and he goes to give him one. " Oh,"says this tramp "I dont want a cockshtail stick". "Well you arent getting served, so what do you want?" asks the landlord, now a bit irrate. "I only want a shtraw", slurrs the tramp."A straw? Right, heres your bloody straw , now piss off!"But as the tramp makes his way out, the landlords curiosity gets the better of him and he calls out "Hey, whats going on, I never have your type in here and today theres been about ten of you!". "oh" says the tramp sadly "Some bloke threw up round the corner lasht night, but all the besht bits have gone now"
jerry
Author
Topic: Tramp joke (Read 866 times)