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Author Topic: Bloody Women Drivers!  (Read 1546 times)

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Marks DTM Calib

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Bloody Women Drivers!
« on: 23 February 2009, 08:27:33 »
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!

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TheBoy

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #1 on: 23 February 2009, 08:33:19 »
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!

heard the joke before, but never that term ;D :y
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JamesV6CDX

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #2 on: 23 February 2009, 08:38:46 »
Nice one...  ;D
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Jimbob

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #3 on: 23 February 2009, 08:39:19 »
 ;D ;D ;D
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nick v6

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #4 on: 23 February 2009, 09:05:01 »
i thought you was serious at first till i red the rest of it
never herd that one
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Dawes

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #5 on: 23 February 2009, 09:11:43 »
A woman can fit a 6 inch c*** in her quarter inch p****, but try to get her to park a 15 foot car in a 25 foot space.......
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Lizzie_Zoom

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #6 on: 23 February 2009, 11:46:42 »
Quote
A woman can fit a 6 inch c*** in her quarter inch p****, but try to get her to park a 15 foot car in a 25 foot space.......

For most women, no problem, but for some men..........forget it, and you cannot open your door because they have arrogantly parked over the line, too close to you. ::) ::) ::) ::) >:( >:(

As for the first bit; I think you have that the wrong way around (we don't have a p....!!), and just proves why some men I have known find it all so difficult!! ;D ;D ;D ;)
« Last Edit: 23 February 2009, 11:48:25 by Lizzie_Zoom »
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woodsy_mv6

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #7 on: 23 February 2009, 11:53:44 »
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A woman can fit a 6 inch c*** in her quarter inch p****, but try to get her to park a 15 foot car in a 25 foot space.......

 ;D FPMSL :y
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woodsy_mv6

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #8 on: 23 February 2009, 11:55:19 »
Quote
As for the first bit; I think you have that the wrong way around (we don't have a p....!!), and just proves why some men I have known find it all so difficult!! ;D ;D ;D ;)
I think both are animal references :D
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Dusty

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #9 on: 23 February 2009, 12:06:07 »
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*
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nick v6

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #10 on: 23 February 2009, 12:10:34 »
Quote
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*

 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X
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just need to tax the tank now:)

cem_devecioglu

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #11 on: 23 February 2009, 15:28:57 »
 ;D ;D ;D :y
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stuart30

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #12 on: 23 February 2009, 15:45:31 »
Quote
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*

Na men can multitask.....i often do on msn.... ;D

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doog

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #13 on: 23 February 2009, 15:48:13 »
Quote
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*

if that is true then why cant women have sex and a headache  at the same time?  ;)

Doug
« Last Edit: 23 February 2009, 15:48:57 by doog »
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Marks DTM Calib

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Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
« Reply #14 on: 23 February 2009, 16:08:09 »
Women might well be able to multitask.....but they never finish ANY of them!
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