Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Richie London]

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo. The place is absolutely
packed to the rafters. Stevie, in a bid to break the ice with his new audience, asks if anyone would like him to play a request..
A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice;

"Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this guy knows about Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts;

"No! Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

A bit pee'd off by this, Stevie - being the professional that he is - dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise. The little old man then jumps up again;

"No! Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

Well and truly pee'd off that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage;

"Christ, how about you get up here and do it?!"

To his amazement, the litte old man climbs up onto the stage and grabs the microphone out of Stevie's hands. As the crowd falls silent, he clears his throat and belts out;

"A jazz chord to say I ruv you

[waspy]

I'm sure i just saw some Tumble Weed :-/ :-/ :-?

[Jimbob]

 

reminds me of 


Ed Zachery Disease

There once was a very distraught woman, who was upset because she had not had a date in quite some time. She decided she would seek the medical expertise of Dr. Kayoto, the very well-known Japanese sex therapist. After stepping into his office and explaining her problem, he asked her to take off all her clothes.
"Now," he said. "Get down and craw reery reery srory to odder side of room." The woman did.
"Now," he said. "Now craw reery reery fass back to me." The woman did. The Dr. looked at her mournfully and said "I vely solly. Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachery Disease."
"Ed Zachery Disease? What's that?"
"Vewy sad. It's when your face rook Ed Zachery rike your ass."

[Jimbob]

and...


An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...

"SUPPLIES!!"

[crazyjoetavola]

and...


An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...

"SUPPLIES!!"

  well up to standard Jimbob