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Author Topic: Bill Gates vs. GM  (Read 968 times)

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dbug

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Bill Gates vs. GM
« on: 06 July 2009, 23:09:47 »

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated ...

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon..'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

11. I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #1 on: 06 July 2009, 23:53:40 »

Quote
'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon..'

So if thier theory is that a car for $25 is realistic, then why do computers cost so much?
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dbug

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #2 on: 06 July 2009, 23:59:09 »

Can't answer that mate - maybe Mr Gates can  ;)
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Gareth Lewis

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #3 on: 07 July 2009, 01:13:12 »

Very good! :y :y
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eddie

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #4 on: 07 July 2009, 01:34:36 »

Dbug....I like you!

eddie [smiley=2vrolijk_08.gif]
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Big Fra

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #5 on: 07 July 2009, 01:50:16 »

Liked it :y
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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #6 on: 07 July 2009, 05:59:11 »

Quote
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated ...

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon..'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

11. I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!


recent as in about 15 years ago  ;D   still makes me laugh though  ;D ;D

Chris_H

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #7 on: 07 July 2009, 08:47:03 »

There was another one going around in the computer press that poked fun at the fact that Microsoft just market ideas that other people have had.  It was laid out like a historical record running into the future and had a line:

Year 2015; Microsoft finally invent something that no-one else had thought of....  The Red Screen of Death!

Although it sounds as though that has come true on the XBox?
 ;D
« Last Edit: 07 July 2009, 08:47:34 by ChrisH174 »
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Lizzie_Zoom

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #8 on: 07 July 2009, 11:32:03 »

A very clever and funny reply! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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dippydave

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #9 on: 07 July 2009, 11:54:04 »

Quote
Quote
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated ...

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon..'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

11. I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!


recent as in about 15 years ago  ;D   still makes me laugh though  ;D ;D

thought it rang a bell. plenty laughs over the years! But at least now it's printed and on me wall :y
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Del Boy

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #10 on: 07 July 2009, 18:08:56 »

It's all true  ;D ;D
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Richie London

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #11 on: 07 July 2009, 19:23:54 »

apparently if bill gates put all his money under the matress. it would take 20 mins for him to hit the ground if he fell out of bed.  :-?

some pratt has sat there for weeks working that one out i presume  :)
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Macduff

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Re: Bill Gates vs. GM
« Reply #12 on: 07 July 2009, 20:00:49 »

Brilliant, that about covers it. thank God Microsoft dont build cars :y
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