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Author Topic: Joke Time  (Read 542 times)

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Mr Skrunts

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Joke Time
« on: 19 July 2009, 16:24:44 »
Optimist vs. Pessimist

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure. That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly. "Why are you crying?" the father asked. "Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin. Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked. To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #1 on: 19 July 2009, 16:26:08 »
The seven kinds of passionate women

The seven kinds of passionate women

1.The Optimist - "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
2.The Pessimist - "No! No! No!"
3.The Confused - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!"
4.The Asthmatic - written rendition of gasping
5.The Sprinter - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!"
6.The Religious - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
7.The Mathematician - "More! More! More! More!
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #2 on: 19 July 2009, 16:28:47 »
During the World War II...

During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something - at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down and said to the crew, "What would you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my dick against the table?" The crew burst laughing. So the navigator pulled his dick out and whammed it on the table. Just when the dick hit the table, a huge explosion tore the ship apart. The only survivors were the captain and the navigator. As they floated around in a lifeboat captain asked the navigator, "Well, the crew really laughed. What did you do?" The navigator told him.The captain replied, "Well, you better be careful with that dick of yours. The torpedo missed!"
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Jimbob

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #3 on: 19 July 2009, 17:49:24 »
 ;D ;D ;D
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Ghost

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #4 on: 19 July 2009, 19:11:35 »
I liked the last one best of all mate :y
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STMO999

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #5 on: 19 July 2009, 19:41:34 »
Quote
During the World War II...

During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something - at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down and said to the crew, "What would you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my dick against the table?" The crew burst laughing. So the navigator pulled his dick out and whammed it on the table. Just when the dick hit the table, a huge explosion tore the ship apart. The only survivors were the captain and the navigator. As they floated around in a lifeboat captain asked the navigator, "Well, the crew really laughed. What did you do?" The navigator told him.The captain replied, "Well, you better be careful with that dick of yours. The torpedo missed!"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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cem_devecioglu

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Re: Joke Time
« Reply #6 on: 19 July 2009, 19:58:52 »
 ;D ;D ;D :y
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