As you are probably aware, a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the richter-scale has struck Liverpool in the early hours.
The earthquake desimated the entire city, causing 30 quids worth of damage..... several priceless ashtays from Benidorm and Tenerife were damaged beyond repair, three historic areas of burnt out cars (some over 7 years old) were disturbed.
Many locals were woken up before Giros arrived.....the Liverpool Echo reported that hundreds of locals were confused, bewildered and trying to come to terms with the loss off Ladbrooks.
One resedent, a miss Stacey Smith- a 15 year old mother of six said..... "it was such a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes, she came into my room crying to me and my Winstan, but my youngest two, Rocky Neo and Brooklyn Romeo luckily slept through it all- I was still shocked wathching Jeremy Kyle".
Apparenly, looting mugging and car crime carried on as normal.
Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of lager and cider into the area to help stricken locals... rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of belongings, including benefit books, jewelry from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and many pairs of Ugg Boots.
HOW CAN YOU HELP.
This appeal is to raise money for emergency supplies for those caught up in the disaster...... clothing is urgently needed and amongst the most sought after are:-
Fila burberry basball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Adidas trackie bottoms
White socks
Anything else from the Donnay shop
Food parcels should take into consideration local tastes, and should include Micromeals, pot noodles, Lidl baked beans, super noodles, Carlsberg special brew and Thunderbird, and Greggs sausage rolls and pastries for babies.
Remember- every little helps
22p buys a Biro to help fill in compo form
£1.50 gets 5 mins on the sunbed
£2.00 buys chips and curry sauce and blue Panda pop for a family of 9
£5.00 buys 20 Benson & Hedges and a box of swan matches to calm the nerves of a grieving 10 year old
Decimated. Of. Resident. Watching. Apparently.
At least we can spell and know our rules of grammar. 
In linguistics, grammar is the set of logical and structural rules that govern the composition of sentences, phrases, and words in any given natural language. The term refers also to the study of such rules, and this field includes morphology and syntax, often complemented by phonetics, phonology, semantics, and pragmatics.
I think you meant spelling
I spy a superfluous comma

What are "pragmatics"?
What are "ashtays"?

Is punctuation part of grammar or part of syntax, or is it something else entirely?
And why settle for "spelling" when you could have said "orthography"?
And you missed the full stop after "spelling".