GROAN. I farted so hard I've ended up next door.....on the toilet conveniently

Are you going to charge your neighbours for the new brown pebbledash job on their gable end?

I think it's their pet dog and granny who was already on the bog they're more worried about..... 
The mind boggles!
How the 'other half' lives eh? 
I wouldn't know.....she's with you.
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That's why my minds boggling! 
You have taught her well mate, i'll give you that much! 
Has she showed you where she had her operation yet?
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Not yet, but when I showed her my Ludo tattoo, it became LLandudno very quickly! 
What you on about? I meant the hospital where she had her operation is just round the corner from there.
Oh! Sorry mate
, she hasn't had time to say much, she's much too busy on other things 
It's OK Phil, I told her never to speak with her mouth full. 
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I've really got to hand it to you steve, you've got it made mate

Lovely wife, does what she's told, well trained....but....
I thought she was a Schoolteacher? When I said to her, " Would you like me to give you a 99?", she slapped my face!
I thought everyone liked liked a chocolate log in their icecream?
