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Author Topic: Questions you can't answer  (Read 1664 times)

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dbug

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Questions you can't answer
« on: 18 November 2010, 01:22:48 »

 
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

 :question :question :question :) ;)

 







 
 
 
 

 
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geoffr70

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #1 on: 18 November 2010, 01:26:37 »

Some funny ones there I think I'll use myself!!! :y
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05omegav6

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #2 on: 18 November 2010, 01:51:02 »

PMSL ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quote
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

testicles. ::)

Figured I might as well be first at something... :D
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Andy B

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #3 on: 18 November 2010, 09:04:29 »

Quote
......
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? ....

Our freezer does.  ;) ;) :y
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Varche

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #4 on: 18 November 2010, 09:08:34 »

I liked those, thanks :y
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waspy

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #5 on: 18 November 2010, 19:42:57 »

Quote

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

When i blow on Mutley's face she acts all daft & stupid ;D
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Richie London

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #6 on: 18 November 2010, 19:54:39 »

very good  :y :y :y
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Martin_1962

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #7 on: 18 November 2010, 20:38:46 »

Quote

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

I wish people would remember that temperatures start at 0K / -273C
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Entwood

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #8 on: 18 November 2010, 21:07:39 »

Quote
Quote

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

I wish people would remember that temperatures start at 0K / -273C


The different standards do cause confusion ..... I was talking to someone today discussing an unfortunate incident in Alaska where a plane has crashed and the pilot is missing. :( 

They could not understand why the rescue authorities are so concerned about the cold as the reported temperature is -2 to -4 degrees... not that cold he says .....  until I point out that is -2 to -4 fahrenhite .. the scale the americans use .....

Which just happens to equate to -18 to - 20 celcius ... which in anyones eyes is damned cold !!!

Still no news of the pilot .. doesn't look good even with training and kit .. alone in -20 and almost continuous darkness ...  :(
« Last Edit: 18 November 2010, 21:08:03 by entwood »
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geoffr70

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #9 on: 18 November 2010, 21:10:03 »

Why did the irishman have one brother but his sister had two?
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jerry

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #10 on: 18 November 2010, 21:23:31 »

like these ;D :y
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Jimbob

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #11 on: 18 November 2010, 21:29:32 »

Quote
Why did the irishman have one brother but his sister had two?
easy, has bro and sis  :y

geoffr70

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #12 on: 18 November 2010, 21:32:56 »

Quote
Quote
Why did the irishman have one brother but his sister had two?
easy, has bro and sis  :y

yes but he couldn't work it out!!!
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gsdtrainer

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #13 on: 18 November 2010, 22:06:43 »

Quote
Quote

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

When i blow on Mutley's face she acts all daft & stupid ;D
my missus is the same if I blow in her ear ;)
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Entwood

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Re: Questions you can't answer
« Reply #14 on: 18 November 2010, 22:10:17 »

Quote
Quote
Quote

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

When i blow on Mutley's face she acts all daft & stupid ;D
my missus is the same if I blow in her ear ;)


what .... she  sticks her head out of the window ?????  Wierd .....  :D :D :D :D :D :D
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