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[aaronjb]

maybe difficult to believe, but I attract a lot of unwanted female attention

Lucky sod.. send some of it my way! The closest I get is 'Aw, you were the nicest guy when I started work there'.. 

[Shackeng]

You should know by now Mike, they expect you to know what they're thinking before they do!

favourite altercation in my home is..

me "well why didnt you say so?"
the hand grenade " i shouldnt have to!"
me" well how im i supposed to know then?"

crystal ball on order...

Now that is uncanny 

Is this happening in every UK household? is my swmbo, your swmbo's long lost twin sister? Should there be a helpline?

ok forget the helpine,

'cos it could go like this:

ring ring, caller says "hello?" call handler doesn't reply, caller say's hello again,
handler say's "do you mind I was still talking to my colleague!"

caller: "well why didnt you say so?"
the hand grenade female call handler: "I shouldnt have to!"
caller: "well how am I supposed to know then?"   

Certainly does in mine!

[Richie London]

you can never do enough for a good wife.