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[Mysteryman]

I have been suffering from piles recently and bought a tube of ointment (germaloids) to help with the problem. Now I can't be bothered with the little plastic tube that you shove up your bottie to apply the medication, it takes ages to clean out afterwards. I just place some on the end of my index finger and wang it up.

I followed the instuctions and applied after every bowel movement and they cleared up nicely. However, I wanted to make sure they were gone, so I continued with the treatment for another week.

I found myself poking my finger up my rectum more and more regularly and going a bit further up each time. I am now using a large tube of ointment each day and this morning I managed to get three fingers in, right up to the knuckles. Mmmmmmm, just thinking about it makes me......


Erm...should I seek help?

[Debs.]

.....the time to really worry is when you begin to want someone else to do it with for you!

[Richie London]

I have been suffering from piles recently and bought a tube of ointment (germaloids) to help with the problem. Now I can't be bothered with the little plastic tube that you shove up your bottie to apply the medication, it takes ages to clean out afterwards. I just place some on the end of my index finger and wang it up.

I followed the instuctions and applied after every bowel movement and they cleared up nicely. However, I wanted to make sure they were gone, so I continued with the treatment for another week.

I found myself poking my finger up my rectum more and more regularly and going a bit further up each time. I am now using a large tube of ointment each day and this morning I managed to get three fingers in, right up to the knuckles. Mmmmmmm, just thinking about it makes me......


Erm...should I seek help?

seems normal to me 

[Sixstring]

Nah, mate.......

seems like a complete pain in the arse, and I would stop it if I were you.

However, as you seem to be enjoying it, and it takes all sorts...........

[cem_devecioglu]

 

 :-/

no curries,

no beer -actually nothing with alcohol  (makes you a good candidate for being muslim    )

and lots of regular walking ..

immerse your half body in hot(really hot) water, it will increase the blood flow and relax the muscles..

I frequently suffer from that ..

[Richie London]

try a couple of litres of picolax, you wont put your fingers near it for days 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I know you're from the North  Mr Steve  ......but just for a novelty try eating some fruit and  vegetables.....This should keep you nice and regular... A diet of deep fried Mars bars is not good for bowel movements....  :

[Debs.]

fruit and  vegetables

  Steve, they`re the brightly coloured 'growy' things near the door at Morrisons.....you must`ve seen them; on your way to the pie aisle!?!

[Mysteryman]

Thank you for all your advice, but I think I'll go for the whole hand before the weekend. Have a good root around in there and see if I can pull out a plum on my thumb.

[Mysteryman]

fruit and  vegetables

  Steve, they`re the brightly coloured 'growy' things near the door at Morrisons.....you must`ve seen them; on your way to the pie aisle!?!

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Debs. Besides, I've tried eating flowers, don't like 'em.

[bob.dent]

Why not go to your doctor for a prostate test Steve, the doctor will shove his fingers up there and save you the bother!!

[Martin_1962]

Might be worth having a search and seeing what is available.

Putting things in bum or something like that.

Or prostate and whatever.

No I have not typed these in - too scared at what might come up

[Dishevelled Den]

Sometimes a prostate examination can have unintended consequences;

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHKTE75dgE4&feature=related[/media]

[Dishevelled Den]

Thank you for all your advice, but I think I'll go for the whole hand before the weekend. Have a good root around in there and see if I can pull out a plum on my thumb.

Perhaps a friendly neighbourhood constable would be willing to help?


[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqolwZoj8RA&feature=related[/media]

[Nickbat]

I hate it when you go for an appointment and the guy tells you to drop your trousers while he puts a rubber glove on.

I really must change my dentist...