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[humbucker]

So much for the 'English Country Garden'. As idyllic as it appears, it's a f&cking warzone out there! Spent a lot of Saturday weeding it, ended up completely covered in stinging nettle rashes and stings. Both arms and both legs red raw. Nice. Hayfever was playing up a bit so reached for inhaler. Shoved it in my cakehole and fired it off, inhaled deeply and immediately started choking as I'd sucked a full size earwig into the back of my throat. Little bugger must have crawled into the inhaler from the top as the lid was on. Choking continued for what seemed like an absolute age until it flew out of my trap like a missile. I'd just about recoved from that horror when I was wandering around the garden taking photos and trying to note down the different species of flower and plant we've got growing about the place. Was taking a snap of one of the rose bushes when a wasp came and stung me on the side of the HEAD. If it had been the arm it would have been bad enough, but the side of the head?! Agony ensued, followed by a complete numbness of the cheek, ear, jaw and head. It's still stinging a bit now. Little bugger.

So the moral of the story is this: pour concrete and petrol over anything that even looks like it's going to grow leaves or flowers. Or simply don't go out. Ever.

[Richie London]

you've had a good day then 

[omegod]

And I thought my day was bad

[humbucker]

it was as though i was acting out the script from an incredibly poor itv comedy show. i will be not setting 'series link' on this one that's for sure.

[Vamps]

So much for the 'English Country Garden'. As idyllic as it appears, it's a f&cking warzone out there! Spent a lot of Saturday weeding it, ended up completely covered in stinging nettle rashes and stings. Both arms and both legs red raw. Nice. Hayfever was playing up a bit so reached for inhaler. Shoved it in my cakehole and fired it off, inhaled deeply and immediately started choking as I'd sucked a full size earwig into the back of my throat. Little bugger must have crawled into the inhaler from the top as the lid was on. Choking continued for what seemed like an absolute age until it flew out of my trap like a missile. I'd just about recoved from that horror when I was wandering around the garden taking photos and trying to note down the different species of flower and plant we've got growing about the place. Was taking a snap of one of the rose bushes when a wasp came and stung me on the side of the HEAD. If it had been the arm it would have been bad enough, but the side of the head?! Agony ensued, followed by a complete numbness of the cheek, ear, jaw and head. It's still stinging a bit now. Little bugger.

So the moral of the story is this: pour concrete and petrol over anything that even looks like it's going to grow leaves or flowers. Or simply don't go out. Ever.

Now that is my type of garden, perhaps with a couple of tubs for a bit of the green stuff.......

[Richie London]

and there was me thinking kicking the table bare footed with my little toe yesterday was bad. still bloody swollen now 

[Nickbat]

Hmm. I've just thought of a potential new TV series: "Escape to the city"
 

[Osprey]

Had friends who had a daughter while posted to Papua New Guinea, home to some pretty dangerous animals. 

A few years later, after their return to the UK, I asked the daughter how she liked England.  She said she couldn't get used to a country where the animals were mostly harmless but all the plants were out to get you. 

 :-?

[Stallion]

Had friends who had a daughter while posted to Papua New Guinea, home to some pretty dangerous animals. 

A few years later, after their return to the UK, I asked the daughter how she liked England.  She said she couldn't get used to a country where the animals were mostly harmless but all the plants were out to get you. 

 :-?

Very true!!! 

[Kevin Wood]

Astroturf. It's the future.

Suppose I ought to do some gardening this weekend. The place is in a right old 2 and 8.

[Jimbob]

sounds like if you didnt have bad luck, youd have no luck at all!

[TheBoy]

Astroturf. It's the future.

Suppose I ought to do some gardening this weekend. The place is in a right old 2 and 8.

gardening? Isn't that a pink job?

[Varche]

So much for the 'English Country Garden'. As idyllic as it appears, it's a f&cking warzone out there! Spent a lot of Saturday weeding it, ended up completely covered in stinging nettle rashes and stings. Both arms and both legs red raw. Nice. Hayfever was playing up a bit so reached for inhaler. Shoved it in my cakehole and fired it off, inhaled deeply and immediately started choking as I'd sucked a full size earwig into the back of my throat. Little bugger must have crawled into the inhaler from the top as the lid was on. Choking continued for what seemed like an absolute age until it flew out of my trap like a missile. I'd just about recoved from that horror when I was wandering around the garden taking photos and trying to note down the different species of flower and plant we've got growing about the place. Was taking a snap of one of the rose bushes when a wasp came and stung me on the side of the HEAD. If it had been the arm it would have been bad enough, but the side of the head?! Agony ensued, followed by a complete numbness of the cheek, ear, jaw and head. It's still stinging a bit now. Little bugger.

So the moral of the story is this: pour concrete and petrol over anything that even looks like it's going to grow leaves or flowers. Or simply don't go out. Ever.

You need a holiday mate. How about a week here helping us weed an entire olive grove?Sun, Blue skies, different weeds and bugs to "entertain you". 

[Jimbob]

Astroturf. It's the future.

Suppose I ought to do some gardening this weekend. The place is in a right old 2 and 8.

gardening? Isn't that a pink job?

I'd say purple.....theres bits that are blue and bits that are pink 

[Kevin Wood]

I'd say purple.....theres bits that are blue and bits that are pink 

Indeed. I do two types of gardening job. Four stroke and Two stroke.

Mrs. KW spends a few minutes in the garden, sees a spider and runs back inside.