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Please play nicely.  No one wants to listen/read a keyboard warriors rants....

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Author Topic: Sticky for Jokes  (Read 785361 times)

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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #780 on: 05 October 2016, 15:43:04 »
A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm.... 'I'd like to buy a horth' he says.

What sort of horse?', said the owner.

'A female horth,' and the owner shows him a mare

'Nithe horth,' says the dwarf, 'can I thee her eyth?" The owner picks him up shows the eyes.

'Nith eyth', says the dwarf, 'can I thee her teeth?' The owner picks him up shows the teeth.

'Nith teeth,' he says 'now can I see her twot?'

The owner picks him up and shoves his head deep inside the horse's fanny & then pulls him out by his feet.

The dwarf shakes his head and says "Perhaps I should weefwaze that...

Can I see her wun awound"?
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Varche

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #781 on: 07 October 2016, 09:46:02 »
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything.
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The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #782 on: 11 October 2016, 18:53:46 »
Denzil was playing cricket last Sunday, he come back in the house about teatime with his hands between his legs and said "I've been hit by a bleddy cricket ball!"

So my wife said "You must have been hit bad Denzil, come into the kitchen with me!" So she took his cock out, and bathed it in a saucepan of warm water, with some radox and rose petals, and then smoothed his cock down with a piece of cotton wool!   Wasn't that lovely of her...hmmmm! She said, "Is that better Denzil?"

He said "Well I think what you've done has helped a hell of a lot!" Then he lifted up his finger and said...."But I still think I shall lose the nail!"

Jethro
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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #783 on: 12 October 2016, 04:30:36 »

Been sat here waiting for my mates prostate exam for 3 hours now.

Somebody wants to pull their bloody finger out!
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Varche

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #784 on: 12 October 2016, 10:37:35 »
What a day! First my girlfriend lectures me for half hour on how she can't trust me. Then I go home to my wife and she does the same thing!
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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #785 on: 12 October 2016, 14:59:27 »
Police have found a dead body at a Dominos which was covered in ham, cheese and pineapple.






Police believe he may have topped himself.
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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #786 on: 13 October 2016, 14:09:46 »






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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #787 on: 18 October 2016, 10:19:58 »
We're so skint my wife sold one of her kidneys to pay for the kids' school uniform.




If things get any worse I'll have to cancel Sky Sports.
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Andy H

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #788 on: 18 October 2016, 14:04:24 »
Widdle Wabbits

A little girl goes to the pet shop and ask, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit,or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #789 on: 19 October 2016, 09:48:03 »
Two facts about me!

1: My penis is exactly the same size as 2 Argos pens.

2: I've been banned from Argos



 :o
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Migv6 le Frog Fan

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #790 on: 21 October 2016, 11:35:30 »
A new charity has been started to help the child migrants who have come to this country from Calais. Its called Shave the children.  :D
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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #791 on: 24 October 2016, 07:51:28 »
My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.







Apparently, another dead dog isn't what she wanted.

.
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Mister Rog

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #792 on: 24 October 2016, 07:53:09 »

Halloween is coming, so . . . .


Trick or treat ?

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STEMO

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #793 on: 24 October 2016, 08:57:45 »
You rotten sod  ;D
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Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #794 on: 24 October 2016, 10:40:39 »
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RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

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