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Author Topic: I'm learning you never stop grieving....  (Read 1641 times)

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Amigo

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I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« on: 18 December 2011, 20:21:41 »
 Because you never will, you just learn to live with it. I'm getting quite good at multi tasking since Mum left us in July. I can cry & drive the truck, wash the dishes, change the bedding & countless other daily activities. I've just had a moment while making sarnies for work tomorrow, the radio played Cat Stevens, Morning has boken....reminded me of her being bedbound, unable to see & in pain but she just wanted to go outside, sit on the veranda & listen to the trees.

  She did'nt ask for much but i could'nt even do that for her.  I'm learning & adjusting. You just have too.
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Jimbob

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #1 on: 18 December 2011, 20:29:41 »
Still early days Guy IMHO

few years on, things are a lot easier, but never as they were.
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Richie London

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #2 on: 18 December 2011, 21:34:28 »
I still shed  a tear for my best friend rose who died 9yrs ago on my birthday. Never far from my mind. Just glad I've never forgot her. nice to know we have feelings and we care so much guy.
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Seth

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #3 on: 18 December 2011, 21:41:09 »
Quote from: Amigo MX5 on 18 December 2011, 20:21:41
Because you never will, you just learn to live with it. I'm getting quite good at multi tasking since Mum left us in July. I can cry & drive the truck, wash the dishes, change the bedding & countless other daily activities. I've just had a moment while making sarnies for work tomorrow, the radio played Cat Stevens, Morning has boken....reminded me of her being bedbound, unable to see & in pain but she just wanted to go outside, sit on the veranda & listen to the trees.

  She did'nt ask for much but i could'nt even do that for her.  I'm learning & adjusting. You just have too.

Exactly the same emotions here Guy, since the death of my great friend Bill in Summer 2009.

Our frequent caravan visits to Gower always bring such happy memories flooding back, and I take great comfort knowing that he's 'up there' looking down with approval - beaming smile and all!
Hard as it is, I've just got on with life - he'd have wanted just that for us :)

I'm sure that your dear mother is doing likewise - try and take comfort from that Guy ;)
« Last Edit: 18 December 2011, 21:44:14 by Seth »
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jonnycool

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #4 on: 18 December 2011, 22:00:19 »
Always the hardest time for anyone at Christmas fellas  :(
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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #5 on: 18 December 2011, 22:06:35 »
Facing first Christmas since FIL passed away, I think swmbo may shed a tear but will be harder for MIL, who we will see on Christmas day..... :)
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Debs.

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #6 on: 18 December 2011, 22:12:09 »
Many years ago, my dear-friend whom had his beloved unexpectedly taken, said to me (as I youthfully-struggled to offer comfort and support) he said, simply: "I am lost"........

....now, years later I understand what it is to be so-lost: the compass, life`s lodestone, the very reason 'we are' is thrown, and we circle, hopeless, seeking any course, a new heading; back to life.

........time will help you find a course to steer-to, Guy.

It will become easier. :-*
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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #7 on: 18 December 2011, 22:35:50 »
I lost my Mom on a shining day of august this year. I was working when my younger brother called me, two days before I talked a bit with Mom her voice was very weak all along we were speaking. Often comes to my mind whether if I could do a wee bit more for her. Hm. I don't know. She suffered from divorce of mine after that I lost everything I had. She was never sure of whether I'll be able to recreate everything I lost by divorcing. Just a few of month (six-seven) and I'll have enough money to buy a house, unfortunately she already hadn't time to see... :'( :'( :'(

Quote from: Jimbob on 18 December 2011, 20:29:41
Still early days Guy IMHO

few years on, things are a lot easier, but never as they were.

Yess Jim, you're right...We all who lost a loved one need TIME to forget a bit and occasion to turn to each other. Especially at the days of Christmas.   
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Amigo

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #8 on: 18 December 2011, 22:44:57 »
That kind of sums it up Debs. I'm still lost but have reached the stage where i know i'll get back on track soon, that's what she would have wanted. I'm not the first to hurt & won't be the last & have unlimited time & sympathy for anyone this happens to in the future.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VosFiY1SifA
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tigers_gonads

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #9 on: 19 December 2011, 09:42:52 »
[quote author=Amigo MX5 link=topic=97169.msg1217605#msg1217605 date=1324239701]
 Because you never will, you just learn to live with it. I'm getting quite good at multi tasking since Mum left us in July. I can cry & drive the truck, wash the dishes, change the bedding & countless other daily activities. I've just had a moment while making sarnies for work tomorrow, the radio played Cat Stevens, Morning has boken....reminded me of her being bedbound, unable to see & in pain but she just wanted to go outside, sit on the veranda & listen to the trees.

  She did'nt ask for much but i could'nt even do that for her.  I'm learning & adjusting. You just have too.
[/quote]


Nothing wrong with that Guy.
All in your own time  ;)
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blackviper90210

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #10 on: 19 December 2011, 09:44:35 »
My mother-in -law passed away Aug last year whilst I was in Afghan. SWMBO was a mess, I can home on compassionate for the funeral before going back out again.
Even now, it only feels like yesterday she left us and with Xmas and our newborn, SWMBO feels it more than ever now :(

RIP Trish. x
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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #11 on: 19 December 2011, 15:47:50 »
Quote from: Amigo MX5 on 18 December 2011, 20:21:41
Because you never will, you just learn to live with it. I'm getting quite good at multi tasking since Mum left us in July. I can cry & drive the truck, wash the dishes, change the bedding & countless other daily activities. I've just had a moment while making sarnies for work tomorrow, the radio played Cat Stevens, Morning has boken....reminded me of her being bedbound, unable to see & in pain but she just wanted to go outside, sit on the veranda & listen to the trees.

  She did'nt ask for much but i could'nt even do that for her.  I'm learning & adjusting. You just have too.



I know exactly how you feel, Guy. My father passed away on the 30th November. Just this morning the bill for his funeral dropped on the mat, reigniting memories of when he was alive. It does get better. We accept......we grieve......then we move on. That is what our loved ones would want us to do.
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I_want_an_Omega

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #12 on: 19 December 2011, 16:09:09 »
I'm with you Guy - it's been 16 years for me and there isn't a day go by when I dont think about my Mum for a few moments. Time does help the healing process for sure & I don't get to visit her grave as often as I'd like as it's 300 miles away.
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CaptainZok

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #13 on: 19 December 2011, 16:38:27 »
It's a long road ahead Guy but slowly the painful memories dull and leave us with memories of the happy times so I suppose tears of grief are replaced with tears of joy.
Hang in there it will get easier.
John
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TheBoy

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Re: I'm learning you never stop grieving....
« Reply #14 on: 19 December 2011, 17:52:28 »
Believe me, time is a great healer. Honestly.

Although you never forget, and frequently get reminded of love one's antics, sayings etc. Esp with my Dad, who many who know me better than most, will know had a saying for every occasion. Often unrepeatable on a site like OOF though ::)


The 3 closest people to me who I've lost - Grandma (nearly 20yrs ago), my step Granddad ("Uncle Bill" about 3yrs later), and Dad (just over 10yrs ago) - still feature frequently in my thoughts. Grieving isn't the word I would use after all this time. Memories is better. Many happy memories, spanning the good and not so good times.

You will never forget them, and you will always miss them. But time, honestly, heals. You just need to allow time to play its role.

Chin up, big fella :y
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