Bezos gave me a dashcam to review*. I wired it to a ciggy plug, did the review, unplugged and chucked in the big black receptacle that gets emptied every fortnight.
Work of bloody satan. Like helmet cams for the moral highground idiots cyclists.
*Granted, not for the first time, I clicked on the wrong item - imagine my horror at getting a bloody dashcam instead of something interesting!
I can seriously understand why someone that drives like you doesn’t own a dashcam.
It would be like scoring an own goal with your own footage if you ever had to produce it. 
Err, Pot and Kettle, Mr YZ

Besides, I'm a reformed character, as well you know. I haven't had a tug from the old bill in years. I haven't even done a speed awareness course this decade. Fully reformed.
Although, I was obviously always a careful and considerate driver, having never had points on my licence (touches wood quickly!). I'm just even more careful and considerate