Sticky for Jokes

[78bex]

A very forgetful fella calls the cops to report a dead man on his property
The cop says, "How do you know he`s dead" ;" Well I don`t  know if he`s actually dead, I just assumed he was dead.........He`s been lying out there now for about a month or could be longer I forget.
The cop say`s , "where do you live, we`ll send someone over" ; "well I used to live in the next street & I can clearly remember my old address......... let me call you back.
The cop say`s , " why do you need to call us back ; "well it`s gonna take a bit of time to drag this sucker over to the next street 

[Raeturbo]

Lady walks into a butchers and says, 'you've got a pigs head in the window'. Butcher replies, that's   Not a pigs head, it's a mirror.

[Varche]

Best joke from the fringe...

I keep shouting Cauliflower , Broccoli . I think I have florets

[Andy B]

Best joke from the fringe...

I keep shouting Cauliflower , Broccoli . I think I have florets

There are some easily offended people out there ..... 
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718

[Doctor Gollum]

Best joke from the fringe...

I keep shouting Cauliflower , Broccoli . I think I have florets

There are some easily offended people out there ..... 
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718

https://images.app.goo.gl/xP3jLAuAyxXhTmos5

[Raeturbo]

A group of HELL'S ANGELS, NORTH Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
??
BUDDY, their leader, a old navy guy in his 70???s, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says
??
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?
??
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!
??
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," Buddy also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked,
??
"Well, before you jump, Babe . . . why don't you give ol' Buddy here your best last kiss?"
??
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . . and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
??
After they breathlessly finished, Buddy gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
??
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
??
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
??
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
 
 

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

I said "Alexa, what do women want ?"  The bloody thing hasn't shut up for the last 7 hours.

[dave the builder]

I said "Alexa, what do women want ?"  The bloody thing hasn't shut up for the last 7 hours.

just submerse her in water for a couple of hours 
or unplug the Amazon device 

[Varche]

Will my Continental Quilt work after Brexit?

[Auto Addict]

Dianne Abbot was visiting Ireland and was asked what she thought of County Down.

She said she preferred it when Carol Vorderman was on it.

[deviator]

My wife is so ungrateful, I give her an orgasm every morning, she just spits it out.

What is most sensitive part of the male body during masterbation?
The ears.

I told my wife I had a thing for Beyonce, she said, 'What ever floats your boat', I said, 'No, thats buoyancy'

After Brexit we will only be able to import large blocks of cheese, it's a plan to make Britain grate again.

My mate and his wife have gotten into S&M. She sleeps, he masterbates.

[Raeturbo]

Guy in court for murder, judge says, what have you got to say for yourself? Why did you kill that man with sandpaper? Defendant says, I didn't mean to kill him, I just wanted to rough him up a bit.

[Varche]

An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower,
his wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African
string-and-weight procedure?"

The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband,
"How is our little tribal experiment coming along?"

"It looks like we're about half way there," he replied.

"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"

"No, it's turned black.

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

I would like to know whats going to happen this year but I don't have 20 20 vision.

My friend got ill from drinking tap water. I sent him a get well soon card.

[Varche]

Jokes about sugar are rare, Jokes about dark sugar demerara.