Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[nick v6]

little embarrased about this

ive tried everything now

for a while now she has been pinching stuff from the house and taking it to school and vice verser

i gutted her room out a few days ago and made sure that they was not even the slightest bit of rubbish about anywhere

i went into her room the other day and had a look round and found a lot of empty ice cream wrappers
and later found out she had been coming into the kitchen really early morning and getting them out the freezer
i get up at half 5 every morning

she has been pinching ann's makeup and taking it to school

i told her to empty her pockets this morning and she said they were empty so when i pulled up out side the school i decided to empty them
and i found ann's lip gloss makeup stuff
i dont no what it is (typical bloke that i am)

i spoke to her teacher and the teacher told me that she had been bringing stuff into school as passing it around for ages now and saying that me and ann have been letting her do it


i'm out of ideas on what to do now
just feel like running for the hills and getting away from it all

what can peeps recomend me do as i'm starting to get really ruddy angry with it all

if i give out hard punishment i'm in wrong by ann for doing so
i need to get this sorted soon as its little things now while she is 5 years old
whats it going to be like in say 5 to 10 years time

any advice welcome
thanks all

[unlucky mark mv6]

Got a similar problem with my 5 year old son nick aswell,except he pinching from school,but at the end of the day i think its just a kids trick really,and as for girls and makeup,well say no more,my 9 year old daughter looks like boy george most of the time.As for when i try and correct them though i am cried down by my missus,and she gives into them.so basically i am in a similar situation mate.

[HolyCount]

Trouble is I think kids are different these days to when we were kids ( and they still don't come with instructions!).

I can remember when I must have been about 8 or 9 I took a liking to a set of plastic coins they used at my school as an aid to teaching maths. My mum found them and marched me to school the following morning, right into the headmasters office, made me givce them back and apologise!  I didn't take anny more !!!!!!

That worked for me -- but I can see it going the wrong way these days -- modern kids are too empowered!

[unlucky mark mv6]

Trouble is I think kids are different these days to when we were kids ( and they still don't come with instructions!).

I can remember when I must have been about 8 or 9 I took a liking to a set of plastic coins they used at my school as an aid to teaching maths. My mum found them and marched me to school the following morning, right into the headmasters office, made me givce them back and apologise!  I didn't take anny more !!!!!!

That worked for me -- but I can see it going the wrong way these days -- modern kids are too empowered!

I think its just a phase that most of us have been through really.Also today more kids seem to be diagnosed with a.d.h.d,which doesent really help the matter.

[nick v6]

i just don't want it to be little things now and when she is older getting a call from the old bill saying she has been caught pinching from a clothes store or music store :-/

[crazyjoetavola]

Not having children Nick I am quite unqualified to give advice so please accept my comments with that in mind.

I'm sure that she wouldn't be the first child to exhibit some underlying problem by acting in this fashion; the problem is how to identify it.

I would think that if undue pressure is brought to bear on her the problem could worsen.

The trick is identifying it without making either you or your wife the bad guys (in your daughters mind)

I would look at the local circumstances for a few clues as the tension surrounding the problems you mentioned in an earlier post may have had some lasting effect on her.

The situation at school would also need to be considered as peer pressure can make children act out of character.  I am concerned that the teacher simply accepted the word of a young child without bringing the matter to your attention when they noticed her behaving in this way.  Perhaps returns visit?

In any case I think these things are best looked at in a low key way, as the moment you try to force the issue with her, the result may be not what you intended.

If either you or your wife are meeting resistance in trying to get to the bottom of this maybe another trusted family member, aunt or older sibling may be able make some progress.  Your daughter may feel unable to reveal to you, her parents, what is making her behave in this way because she might be afraid of getting into trouble.

At the very least it needs monitoring so that it doesn't become a bigger problem, how you do that without alienating her isn't an easy one to answer.

I would say however, if the problem doesn't respond to the low-key approach, you may need to seek professional help, so that it can be dealt with in the early stages.

Best of luck Nick.

[nick v6]

thanks for that
some good info there

[unlucky mark mv6]

Thought about setting my son up when he has pinched something,tell him the police are here to see him,and as it happens i know one anyway,so maybe that would make him see the light.They say you have to be cruel to be kind.

[Marks DTM Calib]

Nick, the first thing that you need to do is sit with Ann and agree on the punishment because if you 2 as parents dont agree then it ill have a detramental affect. So discuss it and set the base line agreed level 

It needs to be hard and fair and will probably involve depriving her of some thing she enjoys (grounding, removal of computer/TV/DVD/MP3 player etc).

[Jimbob]

One other thing thats been missed here....is a 5 year old having run of the house while you are all asleep....

nothing really unusal there.....just be aware of her safety, ie pills, chemicals, knifes, windows not accessible.

just common sense, sure you have something in place, but maybe you expect to always be aware of what she is doing....which isnt currently the case.

at least with teachers aware, i would like to think they can put a stop to in-class distribution now they are aware it shouldnt be happening ( although I would have expected a heads-up off the teacher before hand for that)

[tigers_gonads]

 "if i give out hard punishment i'm in wrong by ann for doing so"

the way i see it mate, the first thing you've got to do is sit down with your lass and sort out a plan that you both agree on and stick to it or as kid get older, she  will play one off against the other and belive me, that is when the fun starts !!

kids at that age will always push the boundries !

what are her school friends like ?

is she playing up just to impress somebody at school ?

i had alot of problems with a our lasses lad who i brought up as my own from the age of 3.  ( he's now 20 ).

now im a "old school" parent.  im my kids best friend or there worst enemy and quite happy to administer a slap when nesersary but only as a last resort and only when i know the kid understands why they are getting it but it soon got to the point where i would kick off and then 30 miniutes later, our lass would go and give him a cuddle behind my back !

end result, he hates me and thinks im the most evil tw*t on the planet    which at the time actualy split this family up for 6 months as i could'nt take anymore shit 

something else to consider.   if she is anything like my lad, ( not the other little sh*t i tried to bring up ) then pushing her 2 hard might push her into her  "shell"

just remember this mate, NOBODY has ever wrote a book on bringing kids up that is'nt 'dangle berries', you both just have to do the parenting thing YOUR way and if in 20 years time she has turned out ok then you BOTH did it right 

[HolyCount]

Main thing in all of this is to make sure she knows you love her. Any ideas when this all started ?  One thought that slips into my mind is the upcoming wedding --- is she feeling a little left out

[Darth Loo-knee]

I agree with alot of what has been posted but is your daughter having trouble at school?
Is she trying to make herself popular by taking stuff into school?
Could things like this be put down to attention seeking?
Just a thought

[nick v6]

she gets all the attention she needs
she was doing it last year when i decided i had enough and i took her to the police station and they had a good word with her
ive tried the police station and now they wont talk to her

[nick v6]

I agree with alot of what has been posted but is your daughter having trouble at school?
Is she trying to make herself popular by taking stuff into school?Could things like this be put down to attention seeking?
Just a thought

the teacher has said that
she seems to be very popular at school